Role of Bride’s Mama in Marwari Weddings

Marwaris are a caste that hails from Marwar region of Rajasthan. In Marwari weddings, the bride’s maternal uncle/mama has a very significant part to play. Marwari women, when they get married, are showered with lavish and expensive gifts from their father; later on, they usually do not claim any more of their father’s wealth, simply because it is assumed that her father’s wealth belonged to her brothers. 

The mama of the bride shows a lot of generosity in the wedding of his niece making the entire family proud. There is a particular Marwari wedding ritual, known as Bhaat, where the mama’s support is acknowledged. This ritual is performed at the respective homes of the bride/groom. 

In the ritual, the mama is personally invited to attend the wedding of his niece/nephew. He and his sister (bride’s mother) participate in a ceremony involving cooked rice and moong (a lentil). Following this, the bride’s mother feeds her brother a bit of sugar. The maternal uncle now gives his sister a traditional tie-dye dupatta, which the sister has to keep with her forever.

 

The Mama also gifts his niece/nephew and their life partner their wedding attire, jewellery and money. There is no steadfast rule on the amount of the ornaments and cash; the uncle gives as much as he can afford. 

Jain Wedding and the many Rituals

Jain weddings are never complete without its series of rituals. Like any other Indian wedding, Jain weddings are also replete with tradition, culture and lots of rituals.

Kanyapradan

A Jain wedding begins with this ritual. In this ritual, the bride’s parents puts some grains of rice and one rupee twenty five paise on her right hand before handing her over to the groom. The bride’s father announces the marriage of his daughter with the groom before the guests at the ceremony. In this ceremony, the priest when chanting the mantras, pours water on the hands of the couple three times.

Granthi Bandhan

This is the ritual where the wedding knot is made. One of the married women from among the guests ties the bride’s sari pallu to the groom’s shawl, as the couple prepares for the pheres.

 Phere

This is ideally the most important part of any Jain wedding ceremony. In Jain matrimony also, an auspicious time is chosen for the pheres. The bride and the groom take four rounds around the sacred fire. In the first round, the bride leads, while in the next three rounds, the groom has to lead.  At the end, the couple has to take seven vows. The exchange of the garlands are made.

Havan

This is the next ritual in line for the Jain wedding ceremony. After the chanting of mantras, offerings are made in the end.

Mangal Geet

The Mangal Geet is sung by the ladies when the pheres take place.

How to Know If He/She is Husband/Wife Material in Arranged Marriages

Have your parents and relatives helped you choose your life partner or have you taken the help of some online matrimony sites to choose a life partner? If you have found the ONE you were looking for or are still looking for him/her, it is important to find out if the person is marriage material or not. Remember that you are not looking for someone to date, but you are looking for a life partner in the form of a husband or a wife and that needs commitment for life. So, this is serious business and you should do some analysis and observations to know whether the person you have in your mind is eligible to become a good wife or husband.

What to observe?

If possible meet the person frequently and observe his/her small habits. Minute details about a person’s behavior can let out whether the individual is marriage material or not.

Find out if the person is dedicated in his/her works; if he/she is willing to do a lot to make small things work, in all probability, he/she might go to great extents to make the relationship work too.

This goes out especially to the ladies. If you find that your chosen man is forcing you to get physical when you do not want to go ahead with it before marriage, it is better to stay away from the person. Such a demanding nature will not let him understand and value your feelings later.

The woman or the man in question should be able to open up to you. If you feel that the individual is maintaining too much privacy and being too secretive about his/her life, he/she might be having skeletons in the closet. So, think twice here before proceeding. In case, he/she is opening about some dark secret from their past, remember that honesty counts. These people are least likely to cheat on you post marriage.

Know his/her views on religion. Religion is a very sensitive issue and the views must match yours. Otherwise, there will loads of conflicts in the personal life after marriage.

Make sure your would-be life partner treats his/her family well. If he/she is a family person, the individual will be great as a life partner.

Can you think of other things to observe? If yes, share with us. 
 

Background Check is Essential in Weddings

So you have chosen your soul mate after a long search at the online matrimonial sites or have found the man/woman of your dreams who was recommended to you by your relatives. Now what? You surely want to tie the knot and make the person your life partner. It will be wise not to rush into marriage, and stop to get a background check done. There must be some interval between the engagement and matrimony; you may utilize this time to find out more about your chosen partner.

Why is a background check necessary?

A background check is indeed necessary when you do not know much about the person’s past. This check is not done to demean anyone, but for the success of one’s marriage and one’s safety. You are aware that there are a lot of divorces happening, where the sexual orientation of one of the partner’s wasn’t straight and as a result the couple had to suffer post marriage ending in a divorce. Especially, in marriages where the partners contacted each other through classifieds or through matrimonial services, there is no way one can know about the other beforehand.

In order to get married at the soonest, people often lie about their financial status, jobs and past life. It is better to know the truth before the wedding than to get married and suffer.

You play the detective

Stalk a bit; stalking a person online in order to know whether he/she is perfect for you is fine. Check if the person has a Facebook profile. The pictures of the person will be able to give you a picture of the person’s lifestyle. Also check if you have any mutual friends listed with this person; these mutual friends might be able to give all the information you need on your future life partner.

Apart from Facebook, Orkut, Twitter and other social networking sites, you can also Google the person’s name and check the results for the types of sites they visit and the kind of comments they have posted to know more about them.

You can also create a fake profile in any of the social media sites that the person logs into frequently and send a friend request and then try to get a little flirty with him or her to see how he/she reacts. This might be able to tell you a lot about the character of the person.

Especially in arranged marriages, if you are unable to get a good background check done, it may lead to very disappointing results.

How do you plan to do a background check? Share with us. 

Beliefs/Superstitions Associated with Indian Weddings

Weddings all over the world come with some beliefs or rather superstitions; these superstitions often add to the fun element of the weddings. However, sometimes it may get bothersome for the bride/groom when people associate certain beliefs to the bride not being good or lucky enough for the bride.

The beliefs

• There is a belief regarding the color of mehendi as it appears on the bride’s hands. If the color appears deep, it is considered that the bride will be loved deeply by her husband as well as her in-laws. 
• Like the concept of throwing the bridal bouquet in Christian weddings, Hindu marriages also have the custom of letting the kaleerein (small red and golden ornaments) fall.  The kaleerein are tied on the chooda that the bride wears on her hands. The bride has to shake her hands over the heads of unmarried women and if the kaleerein drops on one of the women’s heads, then it is believed that the lady will be next in line to get married. 
• When the couple make rounds around the fire during the pheras, the onlookers throw flowers and rice at the couple. This is done in a bid to keep the newly-wed couple away from evil spirits. 

The beliefs keep changing with the many cultures and marriage traditions. Different castes and religions in India come up with their own wedding related superstitions and beliefs.

There are many other beliefs. How many do you know of?

Know Why the 'Kundali' is Matched

Almost all Indian Hindu marriages are dependent on the matching of the bride and groom’s kundali/horoscope. This is considered to be highly important, as according to Hindu wedding traditions the success of a marriage depends on the matching of the horoscope. In case of arranged marriages, the matching of kundali is essentially a compulsion, and in case of love marriages also this process holds its own quite often.

Is the matrimony compatible?

This is one of the questions that find its answer in the matching of both the partners’ horoscopes. The horoscope reveals the planet positions and their good/bad effects in a person’s life. It is believed that after marriage, the bride and the groom becomes ONE and the good luck or ill fate of one spouse influences the other; therefore, matching the horoscope to ensure that none of the spouse’s will be harmed post the matrimonial union is on a mandate.

Is the bride and groom mentally as well as physically compatible?

To know whether a happy marriage or an unhappy one follows after the union between the bride and groom, the horoscope is matched. The mentality, behavior and temper of the bride and groom are matched through their respective horoscopes. The kundali is also matched to know the level of physical attraction among the couple and also to know how their health will keep post-marriage.

Do the gunas match?

There are certain gunas or qualities that have to be matched among the bride and groom prior to the wedding. For testing the relationship quotient among the couple, a total of 36 gunas have to be matched. A minimum of 18 gunas have to be matched for the wedding to happen; in case more gunas match, the compatibility within the couple will be better.

Is the couple going to be financially stable?

Financial stability is required for a family’s wellbeing, so this is also paid attention to. Apart from financial conditions, job prospects, and promotions post-marriage, the horoscope is also used to find out whether the couple will be able to adjust with each other in their new life together.

Can you think of any other reasons the kundali is matched for? Share with us. 

Do Not Jump into an Arranged Marriage Right Away – Give it Some Time

Are you mentally preparing for an arranged marriage? Are your parents looking for a bride or groom for you or have you trusted the online matrimonial sites to find a suitable life partner? No matter what medium you choose to find your soul mate, remember that it is essential to give the new relationship some time and make it a point to know the person well before you settle down with him/her for a lifetime.

Communication is essential

If you are interested in the man or woman your parents have chosen for you, or you have met online, then it is mandatory to talk to the person as much as possible. After talking over the phone or chatting online, take things forward by meeting your prospective match in person. Choose a public place like a restaurant or may be go for a movie; however, it is important for both to agree on the place for meeting. It is essential to talk to each other and know of each other’s interests, only then can you find out how compatible you are with each other. Respect each other’s likes, preferences and dislikes. Later you can also arrange a meeting with your parents.

Give the relationship some time

Usually in arranged marriages, the bride and the groom has to go in for an engagement soon after the match is decided upon. However, it would be wise to maintain a time gap between the engagement and the wedding. Both the bride and the groom can take a good interval in understanding each other well, so that the marriage is not a hasty decision. Note that a man and woman will put on their best behavior in the initial one-two months, as both will wish to impress each other. It will be ideal to wait before the marriage and know the ‘real’ person before one can go in for a lifetime commitment.

If things go right, you will be surprised at how your arranged marriage will get transformed into love marriage.