Pre-wedding Photo Sessions are in Trend

More and more Indians are now open to the idea of having a pre-wedding photo shoot done. This is viewed as one brilliant way to capture the love moments before tying the knot and uniting for life. Not only people who are having a love marriage, even people settling for an arranged marriage are hiring photographers for a pre-wedding photo session.

In the case of arranged weddings, the bride and the groom usually opt for a photo shoot after their engagement and before their wedding. Nowadays, couples are viewing the pre-wedding photography to be as important as their wedding photography.

Hiring a photographer

The major step in getting a pre-wedding photo shoot done is to hire the right photographer. Now there are many photographers that one can hire, but it is best to choose the one with whom a couple can share a good rapport and be friendly. Unlike wedding photography, pre-wedding photography will be more relaxed, more fun and there will be more freedom as far as the poses and clothes are concerned, so the photographer also should be fun to deal with.

Opt for a photographer who has years of experience and the one you can afford. Do not go for a photographer who charges too much or too less. It is better to discuss how many photographs will be taken, in which format you will be getting it, whether you want an album, etc. before the photo session is agreed upon by both parties.

Deciding the location

It is up to you for choosing a picturesque location for getting your photos taken. At times couples may ask the photographer they hired for suggesting a good location that is not very crowded, is an illuminated area and an ideal choice for photography. You may choose a resort, a garden or a park, some area of historical significance, your home, or any other location.

Ideas

If you are confused and do not have any unique ideas for posing, you may count on your photographer. Photographers have a great eye for the right background, mix of colors, lighting, and other details. They can capture a couple in the best of poses; if you have no experience in posing, blindly follow what your photographer asks you to do, and the outcome will be great pictures.

Photographers can also suggest you props like masks, umbrellas, books, balloons, flowers, etc. to make your photos stand out.

If you can hire a good photographer, half the job is done. You just need to make the most of the time available and capture some great moments of togetherness before wedding. You may use these pictures for creating a customized wedding card or can also splash the photos all over the wedding hall as part of the wedding décor.

The Wedding Ring in Christian Marriages

The wedding ring symbolizes eternal love for Christians. The perfect circle of the wedding ring is deemed to be a circle of love and as a circle does not have any end, so this ring is thought to be the perfect epitome of immortal love, commitment and marital bond.

The make

For Christians, gold is usually the metal chosen for the making of the ring. The wedding ring is traditionally a simple plain band, but there are also rings with designs and engravings.

The finger

The wedding ring is normally worn on the ring finger or fourth finger of the left hand; the reason behind this is that the left finger is not as much used as the right hand for most people and the fourth finger is the second least used finger following the little finger, so wearing the ring on this finger would mean the soft metal (gold) will not face injury. The ring is not worn on the least used (little) finger, because then the ring would have very little surface area to be decorated.

Though there are superstitious beliefs saying that a vein of only the ring finger reaches the heart that is why the wedding ring is worn on that finger. The truth is that all fingers have veins that go right to the heart. It must also be noted that there are some exceptions where the wedding ring is worn on other fingers and not on the fourth finger.

The essence of a Christian wedding is never complete without a ring for many. More than 20 tonnes of gold (white and yellow) is used for the making of wedding rings every year in the United States alone.

Significance of Gotra in Hindu Marriages

Gotra/Gothra/Gotram is a concept that helps identify the families of a particular Hindu caste. This patrilineal classification is the base on which Hindu weddings usually occur. Brides and grooms belonging to a similar gotra are considered to be distantly related/brothers and sisters, and are forbidden from marrying each other.

The Gotra system originated among the Hindu Brahmins and is considered to be descents from Saptarishi or the seven sages, who were Angirasa, Atri, Gautam, Kashyapa, Bhrigu, Vasistha, and Bharadwaja.

Marriage between cousins can lead to deformed children; gotram can be a safe option

There is scientific evidence that marriage between blood relatives have chances of giving birth to abnormal offspring owing to hybrid DNA combinations and genetic mismatch. For maintaining the genetic distance in marriages, gotra is considered to be a safe bet. That is one of the major reasons why gotram has become such an important part of Hindu marriage traditions.

According to Hindu customs and vedic rituals, a marriage that takes place between a bride and a groom belonging to the same gotra is considered to be an impure union. It is believed that such a matrimony will bring upon doom on the family and clan; whereas, it is believed that marriage of people belonging to different gotras will bring happiness, progeny and prosperity to the family.

In a Hindu wedding, a bride belongs to her father’s gotra till the marriage is successful; post marriage she will belong to her husband’s gotra.

However, according to the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, marriage between members of the same gotra has been legalized. ‘A marriage solemnized between Hindus before the commencement of this Act, which is otherwise valid, shall not be deemed to be invalid or ever to have been invalid by reason only of the fact that the parties thereto belonged to the same gotra or pravara or belonged to different religions, castes or sub- divisions of the same caste.’

8 Types of Hindu Marriages Recognized by Manusmriti

Manusmriti or the Laws of Manu is a discourse on how a Hindu should lead a life. Manu, a Hindu sage, passed down these social laws to Hindu rishis and saints. The laws were compiled and considered to be the words of Lord Brahma. Manusmriti originally had 1000 chapters, and later was presented only in 12 chapters.

According to Manusmriti, there are 8 different types of Hindu marriages based on the circumstances under which a marriage is taking place.

• Brahma Vivaha: Manusmriti identifies Brahma vivaha to be the ideal form of Hindu matrimony. In this wedding, the bride and the groom belong to good families and are from the same caste (varna). According to the customs of this wedding, the boy’s family has to approach the girl’s parents and ask for her hand in marriage. Kanyadaan or the handing over of the bride to the groom by her father is considered to be an important ritual in this form of marriage. The groom promises that he will never be deceitful to his wife in terms of piety, progeny and pleasure. 
• Daiva Vivaha: In this wedding, a father gives his daughter’s hand in marriage to a sacrificial priest, as part of his fee. This marriage takes place when the parents of the bride have looked for a suitable groom for a long time and have been unable to find a good match for her. 

• Arsa Vivaha: In this marriage, the father of the bride offers dowry to the groom’s family and the groom’s family also has to give a cow and a bull as gifts to the bride’s family. Instead of the animals, the token price for the bride (ie., the price of a cow and bull) is also accepted by the bride’s family. 
• Prajapatya Vivaha: According to Manusmriti, this is a form of marriage where the bride’s father does not have to give any dowry and neither does he demand any bride price from the groom’s family. 
• Gandharva Vivaha: This is what the modern world knows as love marriage. In this wedding, two people who are in love tie the matrimonial knot. For social acceptance, this kind of matrimony is often solemnized at religious ceremonies. 
• Asura Vivaha:  This is marriage by purchase; in this wedding, the father of the bride accepts the bride-price from the groom.
• Rakshasa Vivaha: This is the marriage that takes place between a man and a woman, where the woman was captured by the man in a war or otherwise and forced into the marriage. 
• Paishacha Vivaha: Here the bride is seduced by a man through his tricks into marriage. She was not in her senses during the marriage and therefore has not consented to the marriage. 

Nowadays these forms of marriages are unknown to many Hindus. However, these forms of marriages are still prevalent in different parts of India.

What are your thoughts on the 'Laws of Manu'? Share with us. 

How Arranged Marriages May Actually Benefit You

Do you want to get married and have not found your perfect match? Opt for arranged marriage; come on, it’s not a bad way to get married and contrary to what many people might think, an arranged marriage can be a mature decision to make.

The western world is not familiar to the concept of Indian arranged marriages. However, in India the situation is different; here, the parents can look for a suitable match for their sons and daughters, and it is not considered abnormal. Parents can look for suitable matches through classifieds in newspapers, or through online matrimony sites, or just through acquaintances. An eligible girl or boy who is interested in getting married has to meet a proposed match (one who his/her parents thought was a good match) and then express his/her like or dislike. The decisions are very practical and business like, and at the initial meeting there are hardly any emotions involved. This strategy is perfect for the 21st century business model.

You must first ask yourself if you have any problem in allowing your parents to help you find a perfect match. Our parents might do better than us in finding a perfect match; after all, their experiences in life cannot be ignored. Young people might get easily carried away by good looks and physical attraction, which may result in shallow love and lust and the relationship might be short-lived, while elders can look beyond the physical beauty.

Arranged marriages are not as simple as they appear. Two families get involved in it. Several important aspects are taken into consideration such as religion, caste, social stature, economic conditions, property and education. Any issue pertaining to the marriage is handled by both the families, so the boy and girl gets a great level of support from their respective parents.

Do you want to go for an arranged marriage? If yes, let us know why. 

What to talk about when you meet your prospective partner outside for the first time

Have you met a girl or guy online whom you are interested in and want to marry? Was it an online matrimony site where you met or was it some social networking site? Well, if you are meeting him/her for the first time outside (which can be called your first date with that person), make sure you are calm and confident and do not ask any embarrassing or awkward questions.

Be natural. Let the words flow

It is highly important to be yourself and not act artificial. Do not mug up a script for making a conversation with the man/woman; rather, let it be natural and allow the words to flow and the conversation take its own course.

Tips for women

Keep an eye on him and find out how he treats you; whether he pulls the chair for you in case you went out to have lunch or dinner together, or whether he holds open the door of some restaurant or the door of his car for you.

Talk to him and try to understand his views on women’s freedom. Ask if he is open to the idea of you working or even not working. This will help you know whether this man is suitable to be your life partner.

It is also important to check if your interests match. It is not mandatory that all your interests will be matching; he may like action movies, you may like romantic movies, but ensure that there are certain common interests that you share.

Tips for men

Ask if the girl is being pressurized into marriage by her parents or she’s doing it of her own free will. It is important for you to know this. You will definitely not want to marry a girl who is being forcibly married off.

Men are easily carried away by good looking women. Do not let that happen, as marriage is for life. Even if the woman sitting before you might be very pretty, talk to her and try to look beyond the beauty that is skin deep. Try to know what kind of a person she is, whether she is jovial, has a good sense of humor, or whether she’s down to earth or artificial in her manners.

Try not to ask any personal questions; this goes for both men and women. A person’s past relationships are not something to talk about on your first date.

It is equally important for the men to know if they share any common interests with the women. For instance, if you both like traveling, then that can be called a 'plus' in the relationship, as you already have the same views on it.

Do you have some more tips to share? Feel free to share your views here

Maintain a Good Relationship with Your In Laws Post Marriage

Often newly-weds do not get along well with their in laws and ends up messing their relationship with their partners too. There are ways to ‘not hate’ in laws and save a marriage from entering the crisis zone. 

Know your priorities 

It is essential for both partners to realize that their spouse is their priority and even if any problems arise or conflicts happen, the parents/relatives should not be called in between. If you are involving your parents in any marital conflict, it is likely to ruin your marriage as well as ruin your spouse’s relationship with your marriage. When in a marriage, you should not even encourage any of your parents/relatives talking about your husband/wife in a demeaning manner. 

Be connected to your in laws

You must show respect to your husband/wife’s parents as you would respect your own. If you speak ill of your in laws before your husband/wife, remember it will hurt the sentiments of your spouse and will make her/him have bitter thoughts about you. Keep in mind that your in laws may not be as pleasant as you expect them to be; they may be rude and difficult to handle, but you must show them respect at all times only because they are elder to you. 

If the situation gets too difficult to cope with

If you find that in spite of all your good behavior, your in laws are behaving rudely with you, abusing you verbally or physically assaulting you (this usually happens with the wife), speak to your husband immediately. You must let him know of the situation and let him know that you have done your best to control it and can no longer control it. Talk to each other and find out how you can tackle the situation. 

Plan a trip with your in laws and parents

After your honeymoon trip is over, you may plan a second trip with both in laws. This will help the family unite and get closer to each other. Amidst all the talks, laughs and food, you all will develop a deep bond which is highly needed in a family. 

Remember you need to work around your marriage to make it successful. Your in laws are also a part of your marriage and so learn to love and respect them; this goes out for women as well as men. 

The Wedding Games

Indian weddings are all the more fun with the plethora of games that the bride and the groom have to take part in. Indian wedding customs require the bride and groom to participate in several games which are impregnated with significance and symbolism.

Hiding the groom’s shoe

According to several Hindu marriage traditions, the hiding of the shoes is a very common wedding game. In this game, probably the sister of the bride with the help of her friends and cousins hides the shoes of the groom when he is busy during the wedding. Later, money is asked from the groom in exchange for his shoes. The challenge is to get access to the groom’s shoes as the siblings and friends of the groom guard his shoes when he is busy getting married.

Finding the ring

In another fun wedding game, the rings of both the bride and the groom is thrown in a pot/vessel containing milk and rose petals. The newly-weds task is to put their hands in the container and retrieve their own ring. Whoever does it first is said to rule the marriage.

Find your name

If the bride is wearing mehendi on her hands, in all probability she will also be having the groom’s name mentioned somewhere within the mehendi design. The challenge for the groom is to find his own name in her hands. This game is not as simple as it seems; often the mehendi artists do a brilliant job and it gets really difficult to find one’s own name. In case the groom cannot find his name at all, the bride is believed to rule the marriage.

Antakshari

The bride with her siblings, cousins and friends make a team while the groom makes a team with his friends and cousins. They play the antakshari game and if the bride’s team wins, the bride is said to rule the marriage, and vice versa.

Tell us about some of the wedding games that you find interesting.

On Your First Date Make the Right Impression

OK, so you have met a girl/guy on Facebook or over an online matrimony site or simply met someone at a friend’s place. Now do you want to get to know him/her a little more? Are you thinking about a date? It is necessary to get to know a person better if you really like him/her and want to think on the lines of marriage.

Choosing the right site
If you have set the day for the date and also managed to convince your date, you must think about the place you want to take him/her. Do not go for movies, as you will hardly be able to talk there. The idea is to talk and listen to each other as much as possible on your first date. It will be best to go to a restaurant and have lunch or dinner together.

Do not overdo it
Make sure you haven’t chosen a very expensive restaurant as that might have a negative impact on your special someone. Do not wear too flashy and expensive clothes, as that will make you appear as a ‘showoff’ and at the same time remember not to wear very casual clothes as that also will make your date feel you gave no importance to the occasion.

Personal hygiene counts
It is important to ensure that you have put on some good deodorant in case you have a body odour problem. Also take extra care to brush well and use a mouth freshener. There’s something that guys need to know, women are really turned off with poor hygiene and bad breath. Ladies cut your nails and shape them. When you are chewing food, chew slowly with your mouth closed; you never know how closely the person opposite you is watching you.

A gift is a special way to say you care
Choose to gift your man or lady love a box of chocolates. Men can gift a white or yellow rose or even a single pink rose to the women, but ensure that it’s not a red rose as it may be a little over the top if you are gifting a red rose, as it signifies passionate love.

Talk a lot and listen even more
It is important to be comfortable and talk freely, and it’s all the more important to listen to the other. Never talk about your past relationships and how they turned out to be disasters for you on your first date, this will not prove to be positive for you. It is not necessary to open up with your secrets on your first date itself, but you can definitely talk about your interests, family, friends, pets and even food. Try to keep the problems in your life away from the conversation. When he/she is on the verge of becoming your life partner, you may share your secrets then.

Who pays?
Normally men should offer to pay for the food, but women must also make an offer to pay. In case the guy does not agree, the lady must choose to pay half the bill. If the guy doesn’t agree again, she must politely let him pay.

Be natural
Above all, do not behave in an artificial manner; try to be as natural as possible. Make eye contact with your date, as it tells the other that you are interested. If you have a good sense of humour, do not hesitate to flaunt that quality; it might make your date smile and laugh and this may be the start to your love story.

All’s well that ends well
This is for the men. Try your best to drop the lady home. That is a nice gesture and will prove to the lady that you care and are a gentleman. If the lady wants, the man may give her a sweet little kiss on the cheek to conclude the date; however, if there is no such gesture from the lady to get cosy, make do with waving a bye to her as you drop her at her doorstep.

Do you have anything to share on impressing a woman/man on the first date?