Background Check is Essential in Weddings

So you have chosen your soul mate after a long search at the online matrimonial sites or have found the man/woman of your dreams who was recommended to you by your relatives. Now what? You surely want to tie the knot and make the person your life partner. It will be wise not to rush into marriage, and stop to get a background check done. There must be some interval between the engagement and matrimony; you may utilize this time to find out more about your chosen partner.

Why is a background check necessary?

A background check is indeed necessary when you do not know much about the person’s past. This check is not done to demean anyone, but for the success of one’s marriage and one’s safety. You are aware that there are a lot of divorces happening, where the sexual orientation of one of the partner’s wasn’t straight and as a result the couple had to suffer post marriage ending in a divorce. Especially, in marriages where the partners contacted each other through classifieds or through matrimonial services, there is no way one can know about the other beforehand.

In order to get married at the soonest, people often lie about their financial status, jobs and past life. It is better to know the truth before the wedding than to get married and suffer.

You play the detective

Stalk a bit; stalking a person online in order to know whether he/she is perfect for you is fine. Check if the person has a Facebook profile. The pictures of the person will be able to give you a picture of the person’s lifestyle. Also check if you have any mutual friends listed with this person; these mutual friends might be able to give all the information you need on your future life partner.

Apart from Facebook, Orkut, Twitter and other social networking sites, you can also Google the person’s name and check the results for the types of sites they visit and the kind of comments they have posted to know more about them.

You can also create a fake profile in any of the social media sites that the person logs into frequently and send a friend request and then try to get a little flirty with him or her to see how he/she reacts. This might be able to tell you a lot about the character of the person.

Especially in arranged marriages, if you are unable to get a good background check done, it may lead to very disappointing results.

How do you plan to do a background check? Share with us. 

Getting Prepared for a Honeymoon

Honeymoon is a word that is attractive to all newly wedded couples. Deciding where to go and what to do seems very exciting to the new bride and groom. However, if you want nothing to go wrong in the first trip after marriage, and keep it enjoyable and memorable, you need to take care of certain factors.

Planning is essential

Do not compromise on the planning part. The better you plan, the better your trip is going to be. In case the man is making the arrangements, he should talk to his life partner and keep in mind her likes and dislikes. It is not a good thing to let the parents take part in the planning as it is yours and your life partner’s special trip, so let it be just the two of you in the picture.

Weather updates

 It is important to follow the weather forecasts and then take your pick. If it is a monsoon, then it is best to avoid hill stations and if it is summer, then you will do best to keep away from having a desert honeymoon. It is a good idea to research the internet for the type of weather at the place you have decided for the trip.

Make the reservations

It is better to book the train/bus/air tickets as early as possible. Also make reservations with a travel agency as well as make the reservations for the hotel or resort you are going to stay in. Check out the tour packages available and pick the best one that is affordable and a good option for both of you. You definitely do not want to run about making the reservations on your trip and lose out on quality together-time.

Set the budget

Fix the budget beforehand and try to adhere to it strictly. There are several expenses when you are starting a new life together, so do not make any extra expenditure on your trip. Be wise and spend wisely.

Medical supplies

If you or your partner needs some medicines, do not wait to get it in the honeymoon destination. It is better if you carry them with you; the medicines might not be available in the place you are going. It will be ideal if you can carry a first aid medical kit.

Travel documents

Make sure you are carrying your passport, ID proof and even your marriage certificate. You may never predict when you might need which document, so it is always better to be on the safe side.

Camera

Do not forget to take your camera on your honeymoon. You will surely want to capture some great moments of you two to look back and smile in the future.

Necessities

Think about what you need. If you are planning a camping, it is essential to carry a tent. In case you are going for a safari or planning a honeymoon to the jungles or forests, a mosquito repellant lotion is a must. You would not want to be down with malaria or dengue on your honeymoon.

Significance of Gotra in Hindu Marriages

Gotra/Gothra/Gotram is a concept that helps identify the families of a particular Hindu caste. This patrilineal classification is the base on which Hindu weddings usually occur. Brides and grooms belonging to a similar gotra are considered to be distantly related/brothers and sisters, and are forbidden from marrying each other.

The Gotra system originated among the Hindu Brahmins and is considered to be descents from Saptarishi or the seven sages, who were Angirasa, Atri, Gautam, Kashyapa, Bhrigu, Vasistha, and Bharadwaja.

Marriage between cousins can lead to deformed children; gotram can be a safe option

There is scientific evidence that marriage between blood relatives have chances of giving birth to abnormal offspring owing to hybrid DNA combinations and genetic mismatch. For maintaining the genetic distance in marriages, gotra is considered to be a safe bet. That is one of the major reasons why gotram has become such an important part of Hindu marriage traditions.

According to Hindu customs and vedic rituals, a marriage that takes place between a bride and a groom belonging to the same gotra is considered to be an impure union. It is believed that such a matrimony will bring upon doom on the family and clan; whereas, it is believed that marriage of people belonging to different gotras will bring happiness, progeny and prosperity to the family.

In a Hindu wedding, a bride belongs to her father’s gotra till the marriage is successful; post marriage she will belong to her husband’s gotra.

However, according to the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, marriage between members of the same gotra has been legalized. ‘A marriage solemnized between Hindus before the commencement of this Act, which is otherwise valid, shall not be deemed to be invalid or ever to have been invalid by reason only of the fact that the parties thereto belonged to the same gotra or pravara or belonged to different religions, castes or sub- divisions of the same caste.’

Maintain a Good Relationship with Your In Laws Post Marriage

Often newly-weds do not get along well with their in laws and ends up messing their relationship with their partners too. There are ways to ‘not hate’ in laws and save a marriage from entering the crisis zone. 

Know your priorities 

It is essential for both partners to realize that their spouse is their priority and even if any problems arise or conflicts happen, the parents/relatives should not be called in between. If you are involving your parents in any marital conflict, it is likely to ruin your marriage as well as ruin your spouse’s relationship with your marriage. When in a marriage, you should not even encourage any of your parents/relatives talking about your husband/wife in a demeaning manner. 

Be connected to your in laws

You must show respect to your husband/wife’s parents as you would respect your own. If you speak ill of your in laws before your husband/wife, remember it will hurt the sentiments of your spouse and will make her/him have bitter thoughts about you. Keep in mind that your in laws may not be as pleasant as you expect them to be; they may be rude and difficult to handle, but you must show them respect at all times only because they are elder to you. 

If the situation gets too difficult to cope with

If you find that in spite of all your good behavior, your in laws are behaving rudely with you, abusing you verbally or physically assaulting you (this usually happens with the wife), speak to your husband immediately. You must let him know of the situation and let him know that you have done your best to control it and can no longer control it. Talk to each other and find out how you can tackle the situation. 

Plan a trip with your in laws and parents

After your honeymoon trip is over, you may plan a second trip with both in laws. This will help the family unite and get closer to each other. Amidst all the talks, laughs and food, you all will develop a deep bond which is highly needed in a family. 

Remember you need to work around your marriage to make it successful. Your in laws are also a part of your marriage and so learn to love and respect them; this goes out for women as well as men. 

The Wedding Games

Indian weddings are all the more fun with the plethora of games that the bride and the groom have to take part in. Indian wedding customs require the bride and groom to participate in several games which are impregnated with significance and symbolism.

Hiding the groom’s shoe

According to several Hindu marriage traditions, the hiding of the shoes is a very common wedding game. In this game, probably the sister of the bride with the help of her friends and cousins hides the shoes of the groom when he is busy during the wedding. Later, money is asked from the groom in exchange for his shoes. The challenge is to get access to the groom’s shoes as the siblings and friends of the groom guard his shoes when he is busy getting married.

Finding the ring

In another fun wedding game, the rings of both the bride and the groom is thrown in a pot/vessel containing milk and rose petals. The newly-weds task is to put their hands in the container and retrieve their own ring. Whoever does it first is said to rule the marriage.

Find your name

If the bride is wearing mehendi on her hands, in all probability she will also be having the groom’s name mentioned somewhere within the mehendi design. The challenge for the groom is to find his own name in her hands. This game is not as simple as it seems; often the mehendi artists do a brilliant job and it gets really difficult to find one’s own name. In case the groom cannot find his name at all, the bride is believed to rule the marriage.

Antakshari

The bride with her siblings, cousins and friends make a team while the groom makes a team with his friends and cousins. They play the antakshari game and if the bride’s team wins, the bride is said to rule the marriage, and vice versa.

Tell us about some of the wedding games that you find interesting.

On Your First Date Make the Right Impression

OK, so you have met a girl/guy on Facebook or over an online matrimony site or simply met someone at a friend’s place. Now do you want to get to know him/her a little more? Are you thinking about a date? It is necessary to get to know a person better if you really like him/her and want to think on the lines of marriage.

Choosing the right site
If you have set the day for the date and also managed to convince your date, you must think about the place you want to take him/her. Do not go for movies, as you will hardly be able to talk there. The idea is to talk and listen to each other as much as possible on your first date. It will be best to go to a restaurant and have lunch or dinner together.

Do not overdo it
Make sure you haven’t chosen a very expensive restaurant as that might have a negative impact on your special someone. Do not wear too flashy and expensive clothes, as that will make you appear as a ‘showoff’ and at the same time remember not to wear very casual clothes as that also will make your date feel you gave no importance to the occasion.

Personal hygiene counts
It is important to ensure that you have put on some good deodorant in case you have a body odour problem. Also take extra care to brush well and use a mouth freshener. There’s something that guys need to know, women are really turned off with poor hygiene and bad breath. Ladies cut your nails and shape them. When you are chewing food, chew slowly with your mouth closed; you never know how closely the person opposite you is watching you.

A gift is a special way to say you care
Choose to gift your man or lady love a box of chocolates. Men can gift a white or yellow rose or even a single pink rose to the women, but ensure that it’s not a red rose as it may be a little over the top if you are gifting a red rose, as it signifies passionate love.

Talk a lot and listen even more
It is important to be comfortable and talk freely, and it’s all the more important to listen to the other. Never talk about your past relationships and how they turned out to be disasters for you on your first date, this will not prove to be positive for you. It is not necessary to open up with your secrets on your first date itself, but you can definitely talk about your interests, family, friends, pets and even food. Try to keep the problems in your life away from the conversation. When he/she is on the verge of becoming your life partner, you may share your secrets then.

Who pays?
Normally men should offer to pay for the food, but women must also make an offer to pay. In case the guy does not agree, the lady must choose to pay half the bill. If the guy doesn’t agree again, she must politely let him pay.

Be natural
Above all, do not behave in an artificial manner; try to be as natural as possible. Make eye contact with your date, as it tells the other that you are interested. If you have a good sense of humour, do not hesitate to flaunt that quality; it might make your date smile and laugh and this may be the start to your love story.

All’s well that ends well
This is for the men. Try your best to drop the lady home. That is a nice gesture and will prove to the lady that you care and are a gentleman. If the lady wants, the man may give her a sweet little kiss on the cheek to conclude the date; however, if there is no such gesture from the lady to get cosy, make do with waving a bye to her as you drop her at her doorstep.

Do you have anything to share on impressing a woman/man on the first date?

Why Mehendi is Important in Indian Marriages?

Mehendi is the name given to the traditional art form of decorating hands and feet with henna paste. Mehendi is a very old and customary marriage tradition for weddings in the Indian subcontinent, and it is even quintessential in Pakistan and Nepal. The application of mehendi on the hands and legs of brides is not only limited to Hindu marriages; today mehendi has been embraced by many regardless of what caste, community or religion they belong to.

What mehendi represents?

Mehendi in Indian marriages is considered to be a good omen/shagun and it represents the love between the couple and their families.
It is believed that the darker the colour of mehendi on the bride’s palms, the deeper the bonding and level of understanding is between the bride and the groom as well as her in-laws.

Other beliefs

There are several beliefs associated with the application of mehendi in Hindu weddings. According to a popular belief, the longer a bride is able to retain the colour of mehendi on her hands and feet post-marriage, the more fortunate it is for the newly-weds.
Some people even say that mehendi represents fertility and so is considered auspicious for the bride.

Scientific truth

Henna leaves are known for their medicinal properties. These leaves when made into a paste have a cooling effect and can relieve a person from headaches, stress and fever. Since stress can be a major issue when preparing for a wedding, the application of mehendi before wedding is beneficial in relieving the bride and the groom from all the wedding stress.

Moreover, mehendi is applied to the hands and feet, as the limbs have the nerve endings in the body. Mehendi for weddings was conceptualized in a bid to keep the bride and the groom healthy before the wedding. So, it actually makes sense to have the mehendi ceremony prior to the wedding.

What do you have to say about mehendi for weddings? Share with us. 

How to Manage the Pre-Wedding Blues

Marriage is a once-in-a-lifetime event and prior to it comes a lot of stress while arranging for the big day. If you do not plan things ahead, there can be a lot of stress and confusion just before the wedding. It will be wise of you to plan things before and adhere to the schedule.

Words for ladies and gentlemen who want to be in shape for their big day

Be on a diet, avoid junk food and have nutritious food only; this should not only help you shed extra weight, but it will also help you flaunt a healthier skin for your big day. Going on a crash diet just months or weeks before your wedding will not help you, but will only make you weaker and look dull on your wedding. You surely do not want to appear all dry and dull on one of the most memorable days of your life.

You can exercise or follow a diet programme, but do not be too harsh on yourself. Hit the spa and relax. Keep in mind that your life partner loves you for who you are, so relax and be comfortable about the way you look and about your body.

Plan well

Right after the wedding date is set, make plans. Think of the smallest things that have to be bought and done. Do not postpone things that have to be done right away. Keep ticking of the things you have completed from your to-do list. It is better you are done with the preparations much earlier than to keep it for later and be stressed.

Enjoy your time

If you want to cope with the stress, you need to unwind and enjoy some good times with friends and family. Do not be thinking about marriage all the time, it will keep you worried. Relax and go for movies with your would be wife or husband, enjoy dinner outside with your family, and meet your friends.

A wedding, as well as its before and after phase should be enjoyed. Do not let the stress engulf you; if you let this happen, you will miss out on enjoying your marriage thoroughly.

Do you have any more plans to say a NO to the stress? Share with us. 

Tips for men to steal the show on their marriage day

Hey all you men nearing your wedding day, it’s time you do something to make people say on your wedding day, Gosh! The bride’s so lucky. It’s good if you are getting a pretty bride and taking pride in it, but wouldn’t it be great if you could make yourself look equally good beside her?

There are ways to achieve the look you want on your D-day. You just have to show some dedication on your part, that’s it.

Start with a clear complexion

Use a good face scrub and get rid of the blackheads, dead skin cells and blocked pores. You must also start to clean your face with a good face wash religiously, so that by the time your wedding day arrives, you have a fresh glow to your face. If you have an oily skin it’s all the more important to clean the face with some cleanser for oily skin 2-3 times a day.

Be essentially careful with the shaving

If you are not too careful when shaving, you may get cuts and might end up carrying those scars on a clean shaven face to the mandap on the wedding day. Also use a gentle after-shave balm to soothe your face each time you get a shave in the couple of months before the wedding day.

Visit the parlor

You may visit a parlor/spa at least thrice in the last two months before the wedding. This will help you attain a striking glow and you yourself can note the difference these sessions make to your face.

Do not neglect your hair

Even if grooms take care of their face, they often tend to ignore their hair. If you do not have naturally beautiful hair that you can run your fingers through, remember that your wife will also not be able to run her fingers through your hair. So, try to do something for that dry hair or oily hair problem. Use the right shampoo and conditioners for your hair type. A beauty care professional could help you in knowing your hair type and suggesting the right hair products for you.

Take care of your hands too

Give your bride something good to hold on the wedding day. If you have very rough hands, she might not feel like holding them. Before the wedding day arrives, keep using a nice hand cream generously to make the smooth and supple. Your hands need to look good when the cameraman focuses on the ring on your finger.

With all the beauty treatments, you should be looking awesome on your wedding day. A wedding is a once in a lifetime moment, so why not give your bride the best of you?

So what say, would-be grooms, would you like to look great on your wedding? Share with us your plans to get a makeover. 

How to Handle an Interfaith Marriage

When you meet a guy or a girl and have a good feeling inside, and start liking the person, you do not know which caste or religion the person belongs to. At first glance, all you may like in the person is his/her looks, mannerisms, personality, attitude or a certain behavior. Note that it’s important to love a person for what he/she is; if you are in love with a person from another faith, do not let the religion factor affect your relationship adversely.

Often people meet on online matrimony sites and even social networking sites and fall in love; it might also happen that at first the difference in caste or religion is negligible, but as the relationship advances or when marriage happens, the differences widen making the marriage fail.

It is important for the couple of different religions to come to a mutual consent on certain factors. They must decide before marriage, whether they will be free to follow their own faiths even after marriage; in what faith they will be bringing up their children in future; in no way should the differences in faith come in the way of marriage.

Marriage is a sacred commitment and it’s a commitment for a lifetime, no matter whether the differences are in opinion, in caste or in religion.

Keys to Make Arranged Marriages a Success

Arranged marriages are not that simple, as in these situations majority of the people do not know their would-be partner too well. However, there are certain factors that should be taken care of before you proceed toward marrying a person, even if he/she has been chosen by your parents/relatives.

Age

When selecting a bride/groom through an online matrimony site, or newspaper classifieds, it is important to keep the age factor in mind. The age gap between the bride and the groom should not be too wide. Ideally, it is best that the bride is about 23-27 years of age and the groom is within 30 years.

Qualities

Keep a list of the qualities you expect your future husband/wife to have and share the list with the individual chosen to be your life partner. The individual should know your expectations before marriage and should proceed only if both of your wavelengths match.

Expectations

Keep a check on your expectations. While it is necessary to let your partner know what qualities you need in him/her, it is also better not to expect that all those requirements will be fulfilled. It is very unlikely that a single person will have all the virtues you ask for.

Financial security and looks

Though the economic stature of the family you are getting married in counts a lot for arranged marriages, it will be better not to look upon it as the most important thing. The looks of the individual you are getting married to should also be a secondary factor. Do not give it a lot of attention.

Background research

It is vital to do a thorough background research on the person you are going to marry, before saying a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the marriage proposal.

Work your brain

No matter how much your parents/relatives praise a match, always rely on your own instincts. Observe the person chosen for you closely and if you feel confused regarding any behavior, talk to your friends and siblings for helping you out. Let your decision be the final one.

Note that marriage is for life. Just because your parents say a guy/girl is the best match for you, do not go ahead blindly. Study the person as much as possible and only then give your consent. After all, it is your life.

Don’t Use Facebook to the Extent of Ruining Your Marriage

Today, a major chunk of the urban young population use Facebook and other social media sites and a large portion of them are addicted. It is important for married couples to indulge in healthy social networking and not let it be the reason for a divorce.

Recently, a woman in West Bengal was on the verge of a divorce owing to spending a lot of time on Facebook. She had no job and spent the whole day on the social networking site and kept stalking her friends; everything used to bother her and she used to compare her lifestyle with her friends’ lifestyles. What someone cooked, which new dress a girl bought, where a friend went for vacation, how happy her friends are; she followed everything closely and got frustrated with her life which was not so happening.

She started venting her frustrations on her husband to the amount of abusing him verbally as well as physically. Her husband got tired of it all and filed for a divorce.

You see, what happens when you let the virtual world gain control over your life.

Follow certain golden rules

• It is important to set your priorities right. You must remember that your husband/wife is your first priority and the amount of time you spend on Facebook should not come between you and your life partner.
• Often spouses check each other’s profiles to find out the comments made by their partners on people of the opposite sex’s photos and what comments friends of the opposite sex have made on their partner’s status and photos. This often leads to suspicion, jealousy and misunderstandings among couples. 
• If you have your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend on your friend list and your spouse knows about that, it may lead to unnecessary tensions and problems that might result in breaking your bonding with each other. 
• Do not say or do anything on Facebook that you wouldn't want your life partner to know about. 

Ensure that you are spending quality time with your spouse and not being busy on Facebook when your spouse is trying to talk with you. You must make your spouse believe that he/she is most important to you through your actions.

Mangalsutra and Hindu Marriages

Among Hindus, mangalsutra is more than just an ornament. It is the object that stays with the wife since the day she gets married and a woman only ceases to wear it when her husband is no more. For several Hindu communities, a marriage is not complete until the husband ties the mangalsutra around the bride’s neck.

The pendant and the black beads

Just as a necklace with a pendant, the mangalsutra (mangal meaning auspicious and sutra meaning thread) may also come with a pendant. Differing from an ordinary pendant, the mangalsutra’s pendant has certain significance. The pendant might be a peacock design or any other design and is an important component of the mangalsutra. The peacock pendant especially symbolizes the love a wife has for her husband.

The string of black beads is considered to keep away evil from the lives of the wedded couple. The main belief is that when a mangalsutra is worn by the bride, the husband is protected from dangers and mishaps.

Types

Gold pendant mangalsutras are considered to be superior than others owing to the fact that gold as a metal symbolizes prosperity and is believed to increase energy levels in the body. People who cannot afford gold, may have mangalsutras having silver pendants.

Several South Indians will also wear mangalsutras that are usually yellow cotton threads with gold pendant(s). Several North Indians also wear mangalsutras made of plastic thread. The mangalsutra’s type and form differs according to different regions, caste subdivisions and also depends on the amount a couple/the family can afford to spend for the mangalsutra.

Apart from the black bead mangalsutra and the yellow thread one, there is also the full gold mangalsutra.

No matter what the type, the importance of the mangalsutra is same for all married women who wear it. The mangalsutra is the equivalent of the wedding ring in the western world. Some women do not open it even for a second, while there are others who may open it while sleeping at night. All married women wearing the mangalsutra revere it as a holy object that wards off all evils from her married life.

Do you women think that the mangalsutra should be made compulsory for married women? Tell us what you feel.

Say NO to Dowry Demands

All the young girls out there, if your marriage is near, keep your eyes and ears open for any talks/demands of dowry from your would-be in-laws. Remember that expensive gifts like cars, refrigerators, furniture, etc. given by your parents to your in-laws may be seen as dowry, regardless of the fact that your in-laws demanded it or not.

Be strong enough to stop your parents from offering any expensive gift, an apartment/house, property, gold, etc. to your in-laws. If there is any demand for dowry from your in-laws, raise a voice against it. Also report to the police; these people need to be taught a lesson. You definitely do not want to move into a family of rich beggars who see your family as a source of income.

Parents having daughters often think that giving dowry will ensure the well-being of their daughters, but that is a myth. This way the parents only end up making their daughters’ lives miserable, as the in-laws see their daughter’s family as a means of income and keep demanding gift items, gold and money at regular intervals. A time comes when the girl’s family is no longer able to pay for the gifts, and then starts the physical assault of the daughter-in-law. According to a Hindustan Times report, 8391 deaths for dowry were reported all over India in 2010.

Young women of India should understand that giving dowry cannot stop crimes from happening; on the contrary, it will give rise to a plethora of social evils, like female foeticide, denial of education for the girl child, dowry deaths, and many other wrongs towards women. Women should have the courage to take a stand against the dowry system. Once the giving ends, the taking will also have to end. Marry a man who does not depend on his wife’s riches for living; marry the one who is interested in you and not on your family’s wealth.


Did you or your family face a dowry demand? How did you cope with it? Share with us.

‘Money Talk’ is Important Before Marriage

Most couples do not wish to talk about money matters before tying the knot; they do not see the importance of this dreaded talk. Research shows that money is the primary reason for broken marriages and also one of the most important reasons for quarrels between couples.

It is important to be clear on monetary issues before marriage, so that fights later on can be avoided. To start off, the couple should know about each other’s exact assets and debts before marriage. It is also important to know the income of each other (before and after tax deduction); both partners must know how much money is going to come in the household after marriage. Though it may seem difficult, it is important to talk on these lines. If the debts of your future partner are far more than what you can handle, you can gauge where this relationship will lead you, and can prepare for it or back out from the relationship.

In case one of the partners is a spendthrift while the other is a miserly saver, there might be issues in the marriage later on, if there are no open talks and discussions between the couple. It must be noted that while it is good to save, it also does not harm to indulge and spend for life’s little pleasures sometimes; this helps to keep the charm alive in a marriage.

For all money matters, like loans and investments, it is advisable to seek professional help. Both partners can visit a professional and get advice on investing and taking loans intelligently.

It is important to remember that post-marriage, there is no ‘my money and your money’, it is always ‘our money’. Even if you earn more than your spouse, the money that comes into the family every month should be distributed equally for payment of bills and other purposes.

Couples can come up with plans on how to manage money for the different expenditures in the house. They can demarcate a budget at the beginning of every month and try to stick to that.

Remember, managing money and expenses is a joint venture and couples should be able to talk on this without hesitation. The more the transparency, the better the relationship will be.


Do you discuss money often with your partner? Let us know your experience of the dreaded 'money talk'.

Make Your First Wedding Night Memorable

When the wedding date is fixed, brides and grooms start having a ticklish feeling about the wedding night. Several individuals have several whims and fancies, and everyone hopes to make that special night, a night to remember for a lifetime.

Dress for the night

It is important to dress up in a manner so as to entice your husband/wife on that special night. It will be fun if women can get dressed in sheer satin or lacy nightwear and men can be in well fitted boxers.

Talk a lot

With the wedding party just over, and all the talking with friends and family, you both did not get much time to catch up with each other. Now is the time to talk about how the wedding and the party went, how happy you are to be married at last, and how much you love your partner. There’s a lot of time to jump into bed; it’s better to talk and set the mood, rather than just hop into bed with your partner.

Room décor

Make sure that the bedroom has a good fragrance and is decorated with flowers, or floating candles. The bed sheet and the pillows can also have some fragrance. A sweet smelling room will stimulate your memories and emotions.

Music

Music is an essential element of romanticism. Play some music, which is the favourite of both your partner and you. Romantic numbers will make the special night appear even more romantic.

Games

Many couples will find it interesting to play some romantic games. Individuals can ask their partners to pick from chits, in which they have to sing for their partner, dance or say a poem for their partner. Many couples can also give each other a shoulder rub, foot massage, or a sensual full body massage. Work your brain and think about many other sensual games that will make the night memorable.

Gift

Give something romantic to your sweetheart. A love letter accompanied with the gift will be all the more better.

Celebrate love

There may be several pressures for the virgin who may be full of questions and doubts. There might also be stress on individuals who are not virgins to make the wedding night be of heightened experience. Do not think much and get rid of the stress. On your wedding night, just concentrate on your partner and celebrate love.

What is your idea of a perfect wedding night? Share your views with us

Mistakes That Newly Weds Must Avoid

Well, your wedding day is now over, and the party was so much fun and went just as you had planned. What now? Newlyweds now have a big path to travel ahead together.

Handy tips to go right all the way

• It is best to accept your life partner as he/she is. If you have not liked a trait or manner of your partner before marriage, do not expect he/she to change after marriage; learn to live with it. We all have our imperfections. Trying to change your partner forcibly will result in damaging your marriage or you will end up distancing yourself from your partner.
• The first fight often follows soon after the wedding. Try to remain as logical and calm as you can in a heated argument. Shouting and yelling never helps. If you feel the urge to be violent very strongly, consult a therapist.

• It is your responsibility to start off on the right foot with your in laws. Make the extra effort, even if the in-laws are not very friendly people. Remember when you are into a hostile relationship with your in-laws, it is your partner who is caught up in the middle and suffers the most. You definitely do not want the person you love to be hurt.
• Never be jealous on your partner’s friends from the opposite sex. Remember your partner has chosen you above all of them, so if you are not trusting him/her, you are ruining your relationship. Never compare your partner with any friend of yours who belongs to the same sex as that of your partner.
• Spend more time with your life partner. Friends are important, but you have to realize that late night parties and hanging out with friends at clubs till late hours is not the right thing to do for married people. You have someone waiting and worrying for you at home, so act mature. Care for your partner’s feelings.
• Do not rush into having a child. There has to be a proper planning before you make any such important decision.

Do you have some other tips to share from your experience? Share them here.

The 7 Vows of Indian Marriage – Their Significance

In Indian Hindu marriages, the groom and the bride has to take seven pledges in a ritual popularly known as ‘phera’. Each phera has certain significance; in fact, the pheras are lessons for the husband and wife to live in harmony as a couple through thick and thin for the days to come.

The first vow

The groom pledges to make his wife and children happy in all possible ways, and the bride pledges to shoulder all responsibilities for the good of her husband and his family.

The second vow

Here, the groom requests the bride to be his strength in providing security and protection to the family successfully. The bride agrees to this request on the condition that she is provided undivided attention, faithfulness and true love in return.

The third vow

The bride and the groom pledge to remain spiritually committed to each other. The bride also promises that she will remain chaste all her life.

 The fourth vow

The bride and the groom pledges to respect and care for the elders in the family. The bride promises to serve as well as please her husband in all manners possible. The groom on the other hand, thanks his wife for bring happiness and blessedness in his life.

The fifth vow

Here the couple does not take a vow but they pray to God for the good of all living beings in the world. They also pray for each other’s family’s welfare.

The sixth vow

At this stage, God is invoked to bless the bride and the groom for a long and happy life together. The groom expresses a wish that his wife will fill his life with joy and peace, and the bride assures him that she will do so.

The seventh vow

On the last vow, the couple prays for a lifelong relationship with understanding and loyalty.

In different religions and cultures, the vows may be different, but the essence of the vows remains commitment and true love for each other.

Now that you know what the vows mean, marriage will be more meaningful to you. If you understand what you are promising, marriage will be a very serious affair for you.

Do you believe in customizing wedding vows? Share your views. 

Significance of Sindoor in Hindu Marriages

We all know that the sindoor or vermilion is a symbol of marriage for Hindus; the bride has to wear sindoor in the parting of her hair or on the upper part of her forehead from the wedding day onwards. This is almost a compulsion for Hindus.

Hinduism believes that Goddess Parvati protects men whose wives wear the sindoor. The mention of sindoor has also been made in The Puranas, Lalitha Sahasranamam and Soundarya Lahharis.

Explanations for wearing the sindoor

Since the sindoor is a wedding symbol that only the woman carries, it is believed by many that husbands try to show the world that a woman is his. The sindoor in this case, remains as just a symbol of ownership.

However, according to experts in Vedic traditions, the sindoor is applied to the wife by her husband at the time of wedding to imply that she is now protected by her husband and anyone who dares to harm her in any manner will have to face the husband's wrath.

Married Hindu women on the other hand believe that wearing the sindoor will give their husbands life-long protection.

It is also believed among Hindus that the sindoor is a sign of good fortune and represents the female energy of Sati and Parvati.


So, ladies tell us what you think about wearing the sindoor. Feel free to share your views.

A festive Offer to Let You find a Partner For Your Heart Faster

VivahaBandhan, India’s favourite matrimonial service provider has once again brought for you an offer that is simply irresistible. For the ones who are looking for a life partner, the festive season may make you long for a soul mate to share your happiness with, so here’s VivahaBandhan.com with its OFFER.

The paid membership/subscription rates have been slashed down only for you. 

-  Pay Rs. 1700 and get upgraded to the Gold Plus membership plan for FREE

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Note that originally the rate for Gold Plus membership was Rs. 2490 for a period of 3 months; the rate for Diamond Plus membership was Rs. 3490 for a period of 6 months; and the rate for Platinum Plus membership was Rs. 5490 for a period of 12 months. This means that you are getting a Gold Plus membership, Diamond Plus membership, or a Platinum Plus membership and all of the added features at the lowest possible prices.

This is your best bet at getting the maximum responses from suitable matches, and personally contacting the best matches without having to wait. You can get so many added benefits like initiating chat with matches, sending them personalized messages, knowing them better by calling them, etc. If you are becoming a paid member with VivahaBandhan now by availing this offer, you can find your match much sooner than you expect. In all probability, you might have your life partner by your side the next festive season.