How to Know If He/She is Husband/Wife Material in Arranged Marriages

Have your parents and relatives helped you choose your life partner or have you taken the help of some online matrimony sites to choose a life partner? If you have found the ONE you were looking for or are still looking for him/her, it is important to find out if the person is marriage material or not. Remember that you are not looking for someone to date, but you are looking for a life partner in the form of a husband or a wife and that needs commitment for life. So, this is serious business and you should do some analysis and observations to know whether the person you have in your mind is eligible to become a good wife or husband.

What to observe?

If possible meet the person frequently and observe his/her small habits. Minute details about a person’s behavior can let out whether the individual is marriage material or not.

Find out if the person is dedicated in his/her works; if he/she is willing to do a lot to make small things work, in all probability, he/she might go to great extents to make the relationship work too.

This goes out especially to the ladies. If you find that your chosen man is forcing you to get physical when you do not want to go ahead with it before marriage, it is better to stay away from the person. Such a demanding nature will not let him understand and value your feelings later.

The woman or the man in question should be able to open up to you. If you feel that the individual is maintaining too much privacy and being too secretive about his/her life, he/she might be having skeletons in the closet. So, think twice here before proceeding. In case, he/she is opening about some dark secret from their past, remember that honesty counts. These people are least likely to cheat on you post marriage.

Know his/her views on religion. Religion is a very sensitive issue and the views must match yours. Otherwise, there will loads of conflicts in the personal life after marriage.

Make sure your would-be life partner treats his/her family well. If he/she is a family person, the individual will be great as a life partner.

Can you think of other things to observe? If yes, share with us. 
 

Background Check is Essential in Weddings

So you have chosen your soul mate after a long search at the online matrimonial sites or have found the man/woman of your dreams who was recommended to you by your relatives. Now what? You surely want to tie the knot and make the person your life partner. It will be wise not to rush into marriage, and stop to get a background check done. There must be some interval between the engagement and matrimony; you may utilize this time to find out more about your chosen partner.

Why is a background check necessary?

A background check is indeed necessary when you do not know much about the person’s past. This check is not done to demean anyone, but for the success of one’s marriage and one’s safety. You are aware that there are a lot of divorces happening, where the sexual orientation of one of the partner’s wasn’t straight and as a result the couple had to suffer post marriage ending in a divorce. Especially, in marriages where the partners contacted each other through classifieds or through matrimonial services, there is no way one can know about the other beforehand.

In order to get married at the soonest, people often lie about their financial status, jobs and past life. It is better to know the truth before the wedding than to get married and suffer.

You play the detective

Stalk a bit; stalking a person online in order to know whether he/she is perfect for you is fine. Check if the person has a Facebook profile. The pictures of the person will be able to give you a picture of the person’s lifestyle. Also check if you have any mutual friends listed with this person; these mutual friends might be able to give all the information you need on your future life partner.

Apart from Facebook, Orkut, Twitter and other social networking sites, you can also Google the person’s name and check the results for the types of sites they visit and the kind of comments they have posted to know more about them.

You can also create a fake profile in any of the social media sites that the person logs into frequently and send a friend request and then try to get a little flirty with him or her to see how he/she reacts. This might be able to tell you a lot about the character of the person.

Especially in arranged marriages, if you are unable to get a good background check done, it may lead to very disappointing results.

How do you plan to do a background check? Share with us. 

Beliefs/Superstitions Associated with Indian Weddings

Weddings all over the world come with some beliefs or rather superstitions; these superstitions often add to the fun element of the weddings. However, sometimes it may get bothersome for the bride/groom when people associate certain beliefs to the bride not being good or lucky enough for the bride.

The beliefs

• There is a belief regarding the color of mehendi as it appears on the bride’s hands. If the color appears deep, it is considered that the bride will be loved deeply by her husband as well as her in-laws. 
• Like the concept of throwing the bridal bouquet in Christian weddings, Hindu marriages also have the custom of letting the kaleerein (small red and golden ornaments) fall.  The kaleerein are tied on the chooda that the bride wears on her hands. The bride has to shake her hands over the heads of unmarried women and if the kaleerein drops on one of the women’s heads, then it is believed that the lady will be next in line to get married. 
• When the couple make rounds around the fire during the pheras, the onlookers throw flowers and rice at the couple. This is done in a bid to keep the newly-wed couple away from evil spirits. 

The beliefs keep changing with the many cultures and marriage traditions. Different castes and religions in India come up with their own wedding related superstitions and beliefs.

There are many other beliefs. How many do you know of?

Know Why the 'Kundali' is Matched

Almost all Indian Hindu marriages are dependent on the matching of the bride and groom’s kundali/horoscope. This is considered to be highly important, as according to Hindu wedding traditions the success of a marriage depends on the matching of the horoscope. In case of arranged marriages, the matching of kundali is essentially a compulsion, and in case of love marriages also this process holds its own quite often.

Is the matrimony compatible?

This is one of the questions that find its answer in the matching of both the partners’ horoscopes. The horoscope reveals the planet positions and their good/bad effects in a person’s life. It is believed that after marriage, the bride and the groom becomes ONE and the good luck or ill fate of one spouse influences the other; therefore, matching the horoscope to ensure that none of the spouse’s will be harmed post the matrimonial union is on a mandate.

Is the bride and groom mentally as well as physically compatible?

To know whether a happy marriage or an unhappy one follows after the union between the bride and groom, the horoscope is matched. The mentality, behavior and temper of the bride and groom are matched through their respective horoscopes. The kundali is also matched to know the level of physical attraction among the couple and also to know how their health will keep post-marriage.

Do the gunas match?

There are certain gunas or qualities that have to be matched among the bride and groom prior to the wedding. For testing the relationship quotient among the couple, a total of 36 gunas have to be matched. A minimum of 18 gunas have to be matched for the wedding to happen; in case more gunas match, the compatibility within the couple will be better.

Is the couple going to be financially stable?

Financial stability is required for a family’s wellbeing, so this is also paid attention to. Apart from financial conditions, job prospects, and promotions post-marriage, the horoscope is also used to find out whether the couple will be able to adjust with each other in their new life together.

Can you think of any other reasons the kundali is matched for? Share with us. 

Do Not Jump into an Arranged Marriage Right Away – Give it Some Time

Are you mentally preparing for an arranged marriage? Are your parents looking for a bride or groom for you or have you trusted the online matrimonial sites to find a suitable life partner? No matter what medium you choose to find your soul mate, remember that it is essential to give the new relationship some time and make it a point to know the person well before you settle down with him/her for a lifetime.

Communication is essential

If you are interested in the man or woman your parents have chosen for you, or you have met online, then it is mandatory to talk to the person as much as possible. After talking over the phone or chatting online, take things forward by meeting your prospective match in person. Choose a public place like a restaurant or may be go for a movie; however, it is important for both to agree on the place for meeting. It is essential to talk to each other and know of each other’s interests, only then can you find out how compatible you are with each other. Respect each other’s likes, preferences and dislikes. Later you can also arrange a meeting with your parents.

Give the relationship some time

Usually in arranged marriages, the bride and the groom has to go in for an engagement soon after the match is decided upon. However, it would be wise to maintain a time gap between the engagement and the wedding. Both the bride and the groom can take a good interval in understanding each other well, so that the marriage is not a hasty decision. Note that a man and woman will put on their best behavior in the initial one-two months, as both will wish to impress each other. It will be ideal to wait before the marriage and know the ‘real’ person before one can go in for a lifetime commitment.

If things go right, you will be surprised at how your arranged marriage will get transformed into love marriage.

Are You Ready to Get Married?

Marriage is a union you make with one person on a single day for life, so before you think of matrimony, it will be wise to ask yourself ‘Am I ready to get married?’.  First and foremost, it is essential to feel the lack of a soul mate. In case, you are single, you may take the help of online matrimonial sites to find an ideal partner whose preferences match yours.

Have you completed your education?

It is important to finish your education before you think of marriage. Remember that proper education can provide you with a good job and can give you financial security. Marriage comes with responsibilities towards your partner, so ensure you have done your best to give her a good future. In case of women, it will be better to complete your education and then get married, as all groom’s families will not be open to the idea of their daughter-in-law going to the college or university after marriage.

How financially secure are you?

This goes especially for the men. It is advisable to have a stable job before getting married. If you are having a stable income every month, you can relax and get married. Women who want to be financially independent should not think about marriage before finding a job and earning. It is better if you can save some amount in your bank account before you fix the date for your wedding. Nowadays, several brides and grooms prefer to pay for their own weddings; in this case, you will need to have some savings.

Are you ready to adjust and share?

You may have been the only child of your parents, but after marriage, you will have to adjust and share everything that is yours with your life partner. Note that the sharing part is not limited to material things, but you also have to be comfortable in sharing your views, secrets and dreams. Marriage brings in adjustment; so you must be willing to accept your life partner as your better half and forget about ‘me’ and only think about ‘us’.

Are you serious enough?

Marriage is not a cake walk; the honeymoon phase ends quickly and then there are several efforts required from both the husband and the wife in keeping their marriage intact. You need to be serious about each other and make a commitment to keep the bond strong and going forever.

Does your vision of future match hers/his?

In case you have found someone with whom you would like to spend a lifetime, find out if his/her vision of future matches yours. If the views do not match at all, there will be no gain in going ahead with the relationship.

 If you are confused in determining whether you are ready for marriage or not, you can also go for premarital counseling. This might act as the perfect guidance for you as well as your would-be life partner.

Learn to Look Beyond Looks

If you have decided to choose your life partner from many options, as in an arranged marriage, why not choose well? The foundation of a successful marriage depends on how well you make a choice. Whether it’s a first marriage or second wedding or mixed marriage, the key is to look beyond good looks and try to understand whether you will have a great future with that person and can shape your life well.

When you start looking for a life partner through an online matrimony site, through classifieds, or by reference from a friend, have an open mind and do not just focus on complexion, height, weight, good looks, etc. Remember that no human is perfect; you are not either, so why look for a perfect bride or groom? Rather find a human who will be your friend, spouse and partner for life.

Be natural and let others be natural

It is important for you not to behave in an artificial manner and also make the other person comfortable. Remember what you see in a lady/man in the first few meetings is what you may have to face all your life. So make the right decision and advance; if you do not like a behavior, you might let the person know that politely, but never expect a person to change his/her natural behavior.

Like or Unlike

When you talk to a prospective match for the first time, you will come to know whether you both share certain interests. If you like the person at the first meeting, consider it to be a green signal to be a go ahead. If you are seeking a life partner, the person should at least be suitable enough to be your friend at the first meeting.

See the future together

If you find that the prospective match does not see future like you do or do not have plans that coincide with yours. You can stop and take the red signal.

Getting Prepared for a Honeymoon

Honeymoon is a word that is attractive to all newly wedded couples. Deciding where to go and what to do seems very exciting to the new bride and groom. However, if you want nothing to go wrong in the first trip after marriage, and keep it enjoyable and memorable, you need to take care of certain factors.

Planning is essential

Do not compromise on the planning part. The better you plan, the better your trip is going to be. In case the man is making the arrangements, he should talk to his life partner and keep in mind her likes and dislikes. It is not a good thing to let the parents take part in the planning as it is yours and your life partner’s special trip, so let it be just the two of you in the picture.

Weather updates

 It is important to follow the weather forecasts and then take your pick. If it is a monsoon, then it is best to avoid hill stations and if it is summer, then you will do best to keep away from having a desert honeymoon. It is a good idea to research the internet for the type of weather at the place you have decided for the trip.

Make the reservations

It is better to book the train/bus/air tickets as early as possible. Also make reservations with a travel agency as well as make the reservations for the hotel or resort you are going to stay in. Check out the tour packages available and pick the best one that is affordable and a good option for both of you. You definitely do not want to run about making the reservations on your trip and lose out on quality together-time.

Set the budget

Fix the budget beforehand and try to adhere to it strictly. There are several expenses when you are starting a new life together, so do not make any extra expenditure on your trip. Be wise and spend wisely.

Medical supplies

If you or your partner needs some medicines, do not wait to get it in the honeymoon destination. It is better if you carry them with you; the medicines might not be available in the place you are going. It will be ideal if you can carry a first aid medical kit.

Travel documents

Make sure you are carrying your passport, ID proof and even your marriage certificate. You may never predict when you might need which document, so it is always better to be on the safe side.

Camera

Do not forget to take your camera on your honeymoon. You will surely want to capture some great moments of you two to look back and smile in the future.

Necessities

Think about what you need. If you are planning a camping, it is essential to carry a tent. In case you are going for a safari or planning a honeymoon to the jungles or forests, a mosquito repellant lotion is a must. You would not want to be down with malaria or dengue on your honeymoon.

A Low Budget Wedding Can Benefit You

It may be your dream to have a lavish wedding, but if you can control this urge and spend reasonably in your big day to have a smaller wedding, you can end up saving a lot of money for your new life together. Apart from the ‘save money’ factor, there are many other reasons to have a small wedding.

Inviting less people

In a small wedding you do not invite a lot of people, but only people who are closer to you and whom you want to be a part of your happiness. This allows the newly wedded couple to attend the guests personally and talk to them.

You are relaxed

If you are inviting less people and people who you are comfortable with, you will be very much relaxed on your wedding day. To top it all, you will not feel the need to put on an artificial smile on your face. You will enjoy everyone’s presence and enjoy your own wedding better.

Save money for your dream honeymoon

In case you save money in organizing a big fat Indian wedding, you can save a lot to go to a foreign destination, exotic or European location for your honeymoon later. It I not the wedding day that matters, it the life that follows after that matters a lot.

Planning a destination wedding

Having a low budget wedding will also enable you to plan for a destination wedding, which is quite in vogue today. You can save the money and plan for a beach wedding or a wedding in some hill station with only close friends and relatives as your guests.