Background Check is Essential in Weddings

So you have chosen your soul mate after a long search at the online matrimonial sites or have found the man/woman of your dreams who was recommended to you by your relatives. Now what? You surely want to tie the knot and make the person your life partner. It will be wise not to rush into marriage, and stop to get a background check done. There must be some interval between the engagement and matrimony; you may utilize this time to find out more about your chosen partner.

Why is a background check necessary?

A background check is indeed necessary when you do not know much about the person’s past. This check is not done to demean anyone, but for the success of one’s marriage and one’s safety. You are aware that there are a lot of divorces happening, where the sexual orientation of one of the partner’s wasn’t straight and as a result the couple had to suffer post marriage ending in a divorce. Especially, in marriages where the partners contacted each other through classifieds or through matrimonial services, there is no way one can know about the other beforehand.

In order to get married at the soonest, people often lie about their financial status, jobs and past life. It is better to know the truth before the wedding than to get married and suffer.

You play the detective

Stalk a bit; stalking a person online in order to know whether he/she is perfect for you is fine. Check if the person has a Facebook profile. The pictures of the person will be able to give you a picture of the person’s lifestyle. Also check if you have any mutual friends listed with this person; these mutual friends might be able to give all the information you need on your future life partner.

Apart from Facebook, Orkut, Twitter and other social networking sites, you can also Google the person’s name and check the results for the types of sites they visit and the kind of comments they have posted to know more about them.

You can also create a fake profile in any of the social media sites that the person logs into frequently and send a friend request and then try to get a little flirty with him or her to see how he/she reacts. This might be able to tell you a lot about the character of the person.

Especially in arranged marriages, if you are unable to get a good background check done, it may lead to very disappointing results.

How do you plan to do a background check? Share with us. 

Learn to Look Beyond Looks

If you have decided to choose your life partner from many options, as in an arranged marriage, why not choose well? The foundation of a successful marriage depends on how well you make a choice. Whether it’s a first marriage or second wedding or mixed marriage, the key is to look beyond good looks and try to understand whether you will have a great future with that person and can shape your life well.

When you start looking for a life partner through an online matrimony site, through classifieds, or by reference from a friend, have an open mind and do not just focus on complexion, height, weight, good looks, etc. Remember that no human is perfect; you are not either, so why look for a perfect bride or groom? Rather find a human who will be your friend, spouse and partner for life.

Be natural and let others be natural

It is important for you not to behave in an artificial manner and also make the other person comfortable. Remember what you see in a lady/man in the first few meetings is what you may have to face all your life. So make the right decision and advance; if you do not like a behavior, you might let the person know that politely, but never expect a person to change his/her natural behavior.

Like or Unlike

When you talk to a prospective match for the first time, you will come to know whether you both share certain interests. If you like the person at the first meeting, consider it to be a green signal to be a go ahead. If you are seeking a life partner, the person should at least be suitable enough to be your friend at the first meeting.

See the future together

If you find that the prospective match does not see future like you do or do not have plans that coincide with yours. You can stop and take the red signal.

What to talk about when you meet your prospective partner outside for the first time

Have you met a girl or guy online whom you are interested in and want to marry? Was it an online matrimony site where you met or was it some social networking site? Well, if you are meeting him/her for the first time outside (which can be called your first date with that person), make sure you are calm and confident and do not ask any embarrassing or awkward questions.

Be natural. Let the words flow

It is highly important to be yourself and not act artificial. Do not mug up a script for making a conversation with the man/woman; rather, let it be natural and allow the words to flow and the conversation take its own course.

Tips for women

Keep an eye on him and find out how he treats you; whether he pulls the chair for you in case you went out to have lunch or dinner together, or whether he holds open the door of some restaurant or the door of his car for you.

Talk to him and try to understand his views on women’s freedom. Ask if he is open to the idea of you working or even not working. This will help you know whether this man is suitable to be your life partner.

It is also important to check if your interests match. It is not mandatory that all your interests will be matching; he may like action movies, you may like romantic movies, but ensure that there are certain common interests that you share.

Tips for men

Ask if the girl is being pressurized into marriage by her parents or she’s doing it of her own free will. It is important for you to know this. You will definitely not want to marry a girl who is being forcibly married off.

Men are easily carried away by good looking women. Do not let that happen, as marriage is for life. Even if the woman sitting before you might be very pretty, talk to her and try to look beyond the beauty that is skin deep. Try to know what kind of a person she is, whether she is jovial, has a good sense of humor, or whether she’s down to earth or artificial in her manners.

Try not to ask any personal questions; this goes for both men and women. A person’s past relationships are not something to talk about on your first date.

It is equally important for the men to know if they share any common interests with the women. For instance, if you both like traveling, then that can be called a 'plus' in the relationship, as you already have the same views on it.

Do you have some more tips to share? Feel free to share your views here

Balancing Marriage and Profession Well Can be the Key to a Happy Married Life

Post marriage, all working couples should keep in mind that you might be in a 9 to 5 job or maybe working for longer hours, but if you want to make your marriage work, you have to work toward it round the clock. Your life partner cannot be taken for granted, it is a challenge to make him/her feel special always and you have to strive toward achieving that. 

Today, several married professionals join the rat race for earning more and end up devoting a lot of time to their work. What they forget is that they have to keep the charm alive in their marriage and not let it wear out and wither away. If both of you are married and working, make sure that you are not neglecting each other. It sometimes gets difficult to manage work, household chores, children, and spend quality time with your life partner, but remember that he/she is your life partner and deserves love and attention.

Do not let monotony set in your married life. Create new common interests, cut down on watching television instead spend that time talking to your partner, send at the least one 'I love you' SMS’ to your partner when he/she is at their workplace, do not forget to kiss each other goodnight, and never hesitate from discussing work and professional issues with your spouse. You may just find a friend in your partner who can help you in resolving certain issues related to your work. 

It does not matter whether you have selected a working life partner, or have come across your working partner on some online matrimony site, or a working partner was selected for you by your parents; what matters is, you should have the determination to handle work and marriage, so that marriage does not suffer for your work. Make your spouse feel that he/she is in your mind and not forgotten. After all, family is important and it should be your first priority. Always remember, you are married to your partner and not to your job. 

Do you think you will be able to balance your work life with your married life? If yes, let us know how you plan to do it.