Background Check is Essential in Weddings

So you have chosen your soul mate after a long search at the online matrimonial sites or have found the man/woman of your dreams who was recommended to you by your relatives. Now what? You surely want to tie the knot and make the person your life partner. It will be wise not to rush into marriage, and stop to get a background check done. There must be some interval between the engagement and matrimony; you may utilize this time to find out more about your chosen partner.

Why is a background check necessary?

A background check is indeed necessary when you do not know much about the person’s past. This check is not done to demean anyone, but for the success of one’s marriage and one’s safety. You are aware that there are a lot of divorces happening, where the sexual orientation of one of the partner’s wasn’t straight and as a result the couple had to suffer post marriage ending in a divorce. Especially, in marriages where the partners contacted each other through classifieds or through matrimonial services, there is no way one can know about the other beforehand.

In order to get married at the soonest, people often lie about their financial status, jobs and past life. It is better to know the truth before the wedding than to get married and suffer.

You play the detective

Stalk a bit; stalking a person online in order to know whether he/she is perfect for you is fine. Check if the person has a Facebook profile. The pictures of the person will be able to give you a picture of the person’s lifestyle. Also check if you have any mutual friends listed with this person; these mutual friends might be able to give all the information you need on your future life partner.

Apart from Facebook, Orkut, Twitter and other social networking sites, you can also Google the person’s name and check the results for the types of sites they visit and the kind of comments they have posted to know more about them.

You can also create a fake profile in any of the social media sites that the person logs into frequently and send a friend request and then try to get a little flirty with him or her to see how he/she reacts. This might be able to tell you a lot about the character of the person.

Especially in arranged marriages, if you are unable to get a good background check done, it may lead to very disappointing results.

How do you plan to do a background check? Share with us. 

Getting Prepared for a Honeymoon

Honeymoon is a word that is attractive to all newly wedded couples. Deciding where to go and what to do seems very exciting to the new bride and groom. However, if you want nothing to go wrong in the first trip after marriage, and keep it enjoyable and memorable, you need to take care of certain factors.

Planning is essential

Do not compromise on the planning part. The better you plan, the better your trip is going to be. In case the man is making the arrangements, he should talk to his life partner and keep in mind her likes and dislikes. It is not a good thing to let the parents take part in the planning as it is yours and your life partner’s special trip, so let it be just the two of you in the picture.

Weather updates

 It is important to follow the weather forecasts and then take your pick. If it is a monsoon, then it is best to avoid hill stations and if it is summer, then you will do best to keep away from having a desert honeymoon. It is a good idea to research the internet for the type of weather at the place you have decided for the trip.

Make the reservations

It is better to book the train/bus/air tickets as early as possible. Also make reservations with a travel agency as well as make the reservations for the hotel or resort you are going to stay in. Check out the tour packages available and pick the best one that is affordable and a good option for both of you. You definitely do not want to run about making the reservations on your trip and lose out on quality together-time.

Set the budget

Fix the budget beforehand and try to adhere to it strictly. There are several expenses when you are starting a new life together, so do not make any extra expenditure on your trip. Be wise and spend wisely.

Medical supplies

If you or your partner needs some medicines, do not wait to get it in the honeymoon destination. It is better if you carry them with you; the medicines might not be available in the place you are going. It will be ideal if you can carry a first aid medical kit.

Travel documents

Make sure you are carrying your passport, ID proof and even your marriage certificate. You may never predict when you might need which document, so it is always better to be on the safe side.

Camera

Do not forget to take your camera on your honeymoon. You will surely want to capture some great moments of you two to look back and smile in the future.

Necessities

Think about what you need. If you are planning a camping, it is essential to carry a tent. In case you are going for a safari or planning a honeymoon to the jungles or forests, a mosquito repellant lotion is a must. You would not want to be down with malaria or dengue on your honeymoon.

How Arranged Marriages May Actually Benefit You

Do you want to get married and have not found your perfect match? Opt for arranged marriage; come on, it’s not a bad way to get married and contrary to what many people might think, an arranged marriage can be a mature decision to make.

The western world is not familiar to the concept of Indian arranged marriages. However, in India the situation is different; here, the parents can look for a suitable match for their sons and daughters, and it is not considered abnormal. Parents can look for suitable matches through classifieds in newspapers, or through online matrimony sites, or just through acquaintances. An eligible girl or boy who is interested in getting married has to meet a proposed match (one who his/her parents thought was a good match) and then express his/her like or dislike. The decisions are very practical and business like, and at the initial meeting there are hardly any emotions involved. This strategy is perfect for the 21st century business model.

You must first ask yourself if you have any problem in allowing your parents to help you find a perfect match. Our parents might do better than us in finding a perfect match; after all, their experiences in life cannot be ignored. Young people might get easily carried away by good looks and physical attraction, which may result in shallow love and lust and the relationship might be short-lived, while elders can look beyond the physical beauty.

Arranged marriages are not as simple as they appear. Two families get involved in it. Several important aspects are taken into consideration such as religion, caste, social stature, economic conditions, property and education. Any issue pertaining to the marriage is handled by both the families, so the boy and girl gets a great level of support from their respective parents.

Do you want to go for an arranged marriage? If yes, let us know why. 

What to talk about when you meet your prospective partner outside for the first time

Have you met a girl or guy online whom you are interested in and want to marry? Was it an online matrimony site where you met or was it some social networking site? Well, if you are meeting him/her for the first time outside (which can be called your first date with that person), make sure you are calm and confident and do not ask any embarrassing or awkward questions.

Be natural. Let the words flow

It is highly important to be yourself and not act artificial. Do not mug up a script for making a conversation with the man/woman; rather, let it be natural and allow the words to flow and the conversation take its own course.

Tips for women

Keep an eye on him and find out how he treats you; whether he pulls the chair for you in case you went out to have lunch or dinner together, or whether he holds open the door of some restaurant or the door of his car for you.

Talk to him and try to understand his views on women’s freedom. Ask if he is open to the idea of you working or even not working. This will help you know whether this man is suitable to be your life partner.

It is also important to check if your interests match. It is not mandatory that all your interests will be matching; he may like action movies, you may like romantic movies, but ensure that there are certain common interests that you share.

Tips for men

Ask if the girl is being pressurized into marriage by her parents or she’s doing it of her own free will. It is important for you to know this. You will definitely not want to marry a girl who is being forcibly married off.

Men are easily carried away by good looking women. Do not let that happen, as marriage is for life. Even if the woman sitting before you might be very pretty, talk to her and try to look beyond the beauty that is skin deep. Try to know what kind of a person she is, whether she is jovial, has a good sense of humor, or whether she’s down to earth or artificial in her manners.

Try not to ask any personal questions; this goes for both men and women. A person’s past relationships are not something to talk about on your first date.

It is equally important for the men to know if they share any common interests with the women. For instance, if you both like traveling, then that can be called a 'plus' in the relationship, as you already have the same views on it.

Do you have some more tips to share? Feel free to share your views here

Maintain a Good Relationship with Your In Laws Post Marriage

Often newly-weds do not get along well with their in laws and ends up messing their relationship with their partners too. There are ways to ‘not hate’ in laws and save a marriage from entering the crisis zone. 

Know your priorities 

It is essential for both partners to realize that their spouse is their priority and even if any problems arise or conflicts happen, the parents/relatives should not be called in between. If you are involving your parents in any marital conflict, it is likely to ruin your marriage as well as ruin your spouse’s relationship with your marriage. When in a marriage, you should not even encourage any of your parents/relatives talking about your husband/wife in a demeaning manner. 

Be connected to your in laws

You must show respect to your husband/wife’s parents as you would respect your own. If you speak ill of your in laws before your husband/wife, remember it will hurt the sentiments of your spouse and will make her/him have bitter thoughts about you. Keep in mind that your in laws may not be as pleasant as you expect them to be; they may be rude and difficult to handle, but you must show them respect at all times only because they are elder to you. 

If the situation gets too difficult to cope with

If you find that in spite of all your good behavior, your in laws are behaving rudely with you, abusing you verbally or physically assaulting you (this usually happens with the wife), speak to your husband immediately. You must let him know of the situation and let him know that you have done your best to control it and can no longer control it. Talk to each other and find out how you can tackle the situation. 

Plan a trip with your in laws and parents

After your honeymoon trip is over, you may plan a second trip with both in laws. This will help the family unite and get closer to each other. Amidst all the talks, laughs and food, you all will develop a deep bond which is highly needed in a family. 

Remember you need to work around your marriage to make it successful. Your in laws are also a part of your marriage and so learn to love and respect them; this goes out for women as well as men.