Jain Wedding and the many Rituals

Jain weddings are never complete without its series of rituals. Like any other Indian wedding, Jain weddings are also replete with tradition, culture and lots of rituals.

Kanyapradan

A Jain wedding begins with this ritual. In this ritual, the bride’s parents puts some grains of rice and one rupee twenty five paise on her right hand before handing her over to the groom. The bride’s father announces the marriage of his daughter with the groom before the guests at the ceremony. In this ceremony, the priest when chanting the mantras, pours water on the hands of the couple three times.

Granthi Bandhan

This is the ritual where the wedding knot is made. One of the married women from among the guests ties the bride’s sari pallu to the groom’s shawl, as the couple prepares for the pheres.

 Phere

This is ideally the most important part of any Jain wedding ceremony. In Jain matrimony also, an auspicious time is chosen for the pheres. The bride and the groom take four rounds around the sacred fire. In the first round, the bride leads, while in the next three rounds, the groom has to lead.  At the end, the couple has to take seven vows. The exchange of the garlands are made.

Havan

This is the next ritual in line for the Jain wedding ceremony. After the chanting of mantras, offerings are made in the end.

Mangal Geet

The Mangal Geet is sung by the ladies when the pheres take place.

Beliefs/Superstitions Associated with Indian Weddings

Weddings all over the world come with some beliefs or rather superstitions; these superstitions often add to the fun element of the weddings. However, sometimes it may get bothersome for the bride/groom when people associate certain beliefs to the bride not being good or lucky enough for the bride.

The beliefs

• There is a belief regarding the color of mehendi as it appears on the bride’s hands. If the color appears deep, it is considered that the bride will be loved deeply by her husband as well as her in-laws. 
• Like the concept of throwing the bridal bouquet in Christian weddings, Hindu marriages also have the custom of letting the kaleerein (small red and golden ornaments) fall.  The kaleerein are tied on the chooda that the bride wears on her hands. The bride has to shake her hands over the heads of unmarried women and if the kaleerein drops on one of the women’s heads, then it is believed that the lady will be next in line to get married. 
• When the couple make rounds around the fire during the pheras, the onlookers throw flowers and rice at the couple. This is done in a bid to keep the newly-wed couple away from evil spirits. 

The beliefs keep changing with the many cultures and marriage traditions. Different castes and religions in India come up with their own wedding related superstitions and beliefs.

There are many other beliefs. How many do you know of?

Are You Ready to Get Married?

Marriage is a union you make with one person on a single day for life, so before you think of matrimony, it will be wise to ask yourself ‘Am I ready to get married?’.  First and foremost, it is essential to feel the lack of a soul mate. In case, you are single, you may take the help of online matrimonial sites to find an ideal partner whose preferences match yours.

Have you completed your education?

It is important to finish your education before you think of marriage. Remember that proper education can provide you with a good job and can give you financial security. Marriage comes with responsibilities towards your partner, so ensure you have done your best to give her a good future. In case of women, it will be better to complete your education and then get married, as all groom’s families will not be open to the idea of their daughter-in-law going to the college or university after marriage.

How financially secure are you?

This goes especially for the men. It is advisable to have a stable job before getting married. If you are having a stable income every month, you can relax and get married. Women who want to be financially independent should not think about marriage before finding a job and earning. It is better if you can save some amount in your bank account before you fix the date for your wedding. Nowadays, several brides and grooms prefer to pay for their own weddings; in this case, you will need to have some savings.

Are you ready to adjust and share?

You may have been the only child of your parents, but after marriage, you will have to adjust and share everything that is yours with your life partner. Note that the sharing part is not limited to material things, but you also have to be comfortable in sharing your views, secrets and dreams. Marriage brings in adjustment; so you must be willing to accept your life partner as your better half and forget about ‘me’ and only think about ‘us’.

Are you serious enough?

Marriage is not a cake walk; the honeymoon phase ends quickly and then there are several efforts required from both the husband and the wife in keeping their marriage intact. You need to be serious about each other and make a commitment to keep the bond strong and going forever.

Does your vision of future match hers/his?

In case you have found someone with whom you would like to spend a lifetime, find out if his/her vision of future matches yours. If the views do not match at all, there will be no gain in going ahead with the relationship.

 If you are confused in determining whether you are ready for marriage or not, you can also go for premarital counseling. This might act as the perfect guidance for you as well as your would-be life partner.

A Low Budget Wedding Can Benefit You

It may be your dream to have a lavish wedding, but if you can control this urge and spend reasonably in your big day to have a smaller wedding, you can end up saving a lot of money for your new life together. Apart from the ‘save money’ factor, there are many other reasons to have a small wedding.

Inviting less people

In a small wedding you do not invite a lot of people, but only people who are closer to you and whom you want to be a part of your happiness. This allows the newly wedded couple to attend the guests personally and talk to them.

You are relaxed

If you are inviting less people and people who you are comfortable with, you will be very much relaxed on your wedding day. To top it all, you will not feel the need to put on an artificial smile on your face. You will enjoy everyone’s presence and enjoy your own wedding better.

Save money for your dream honeymoon

In case you save money in organizing a big fat Indian wedding, you can save a lot to go to a foreign destination, exotic or European location for your honeymoon later. It I not the wedding day that matters, it the life that follows after that matters a lot.

Planning a destination wedding

Having a low budget wedding will also enable you to plan for a destination wedding, which is quite in vogue today. You can save the money and plan for a beach wedding or a wedding in some hill station with only close friends and relatives as your guests.

Significance of Gotra in Hindu Marriages

Gotra/Gothra/Gotram is a concept that helps identify the families of a particular Hindu caste. This patrilineal classification is the base on which Hindu weddings usually occur. Brides and grooms belonging to a similar gotra are considered to be distantly related/brothers and sisters, and are forbidden from marrying each other.

The Gotra system originated among the Hindu Brahmins and is considered to be descents from Saptarishi or the seven sages, who were Angirasa, Atri, Gautam, Kashyapa, Bhrigu, Vasistha, and Bharadwaja.

Marriage between cousins can lead to deformed children; gotram can be a safe option

There is scientific evidence that marriage between blood relatives have chances of giving birth to abnormal offspring owing to hybrid DNA combinations and genetic mismatch. For maintaining the genetic distance in marriages, gotra is considered to be a safe bet. That is one of the major reasons why gotram has become such an important part of Hindu marriage traditions.

According to Hindu customs and vedic rituals, a marriage that takes place between a bride and a groom belonging to the same gotra is considered to be an impure union. It is believed that such a matrimony will bring upon doom on the family and clan; whereas, it is believed that marriage of people belonging to different gotras will bring happiness, progeny and prosperity to the family.

In a Hindu wedding, a bride belongs to her father’s gotra till the marriage is successful; post marriage she will belong to her husband’s gotra.

However, according to the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, marriage between members of the same gotra has been legalized. ‘A marriage solemnized between Hindus before the commencement of this Act, which is otherwise valid, shall not be deemed to be invalid or ever to have been invalid by reason only of the fact that the parties thereto belonged to the same gotra or pravara or belonged to different religions, castes or sub- divisions of the same caste.’

What to talk about when you meet your prospective partner outside for the first time

Have you met a girl or guy online whom you are interested in and want to marry? Was it an online matrimony site where you met or was it some social networking site? Well, if you are meeting him/her for the first time outside (which can be called your first date with that person), make sure you are calm and confident and do not ask any embarrassing or awkward questions.

Be natural. Let the words flow

It is highly important to be yourself and not act artificial. Do not mug up a script for making a conversation with the man/woman; rather, let it be natural and allow the words to flow and the conversation take its own course.

Tips for women

Keep an eye on him and find out how he treats you; whether he pulls the chair for you in case you went out to have lunch or dinner together, or whether he holds open the door of some restaurant or the door of his car for you.

Talk to him and try to understand his views on women’s freedom. Ask if he is open to the idea of you working or even not working. This will help you know whether this man is suitable to be your life partner.

It is also important to check if your interests match. It is not mandatory that all your interests will be matching; he may like action movies, you may like romantic movies, but ensure that there are certain common interests that you share.

Tips for men

Ask if the girl is being pressurized into marriage by her parents or she’s doing it of her own free will. It is important for you to know this. You will definitely not want to marry a girl who is being forcibly married off.

Men are easily carried away by good looking women. Do not let that happen, as marriage is for life. Even if the woman sitting before you might be very pretty, talk to her and try to look beyond the beauty that is skin deep. Try to know what kind of a person she is, whether she is jovial, has a good sense of humor, or whether she’s down to earth or artificial in her manners.

Try not to ask any personal questions; this goes for both men and women. A person’s past relationships are not something to talk about on your first date.

It is equally important for the men to know if they share any common interests with the women. For instance, if you both like traveling, then that can be called a 'plus' in the relationship, as you already have the same views on it.

Do you have some more tips to share? Feel free to share your views here

The Wedding Games

Indian weddings are all the more fun with the plethora of games that the bride and the groom have to take part in. Indian wedding customs require the bride and groom to participate in several games which are impregnated with significance and symbolism.

Hiding the groom’s shoe

According to several Hindu marriage traditions, the hiding of the shoes is a very common wedding game. In this game, probably the sister of the bride with the help of her friends and cousins hides the shoes of the groom when he is busy during the wedding. Later, money is asked from the groom in exchange for his shoes. The challenge is to get access to the groom’s shoes as the siblings and friends of the groom guard his shoes when he is busy getting married.

Finding the ring

In another fun wedding game, the rings of both the bride and the groom is thrown in a pot/vessel containing milk and rose petals. The newly-weds task is to put their hands in the container and retrieve their own ring. Whoever does it first is said to rule the marriage.

Find your name

If the bride is wearing mehendi on her hands, in all probability she will also be having the groom’s name mentioned somewhere within the mehendi design. The challenge for the groom is to find his own name in her hands. This game is not as simple as it seems; often the mehendi artists do a brilliant job and it gets really difficult to find one’s own name. In case the groom cannot find his name at all, the bride is believed to rule the marriage.

Antakshari

The bride with her siblings, cousins and friends make a team while the groom makes a team with his friends and cousins. They play the antakshari game and if the bride’s team wins, the bride is said to rule the marriage, and vice versa.

Tell us about some of the wedding games that you find interesting.