Background Check is Essential in Weddings

So you have chosen your soul mate after a long search at the online matrimonial sites or have found the man/woman of your dreams who was recommended to you by your relatives. Now what? You surely want to tie the knot and make the person your life partner. It will be wise not to rush into marriage, and stop to get a background check done. There must be some interval between the engagement and matrimony; you may utilize this time to find out more about your chosen partner.

Why is a background check necessary?

A background check is indeed necessary when you do not know much about the person’s past. This check is not done to demean anyone, but for the success of one’s marriage and one’s safety. You are aware that there are a lot of divorces happening, where the sexual orientation of one of the partner’s wasn’t straight and as a result the couple had to suffer post marriage ending in a divorce. Especially, in marriages where the partners contacted each other through classifieds or through matrimonial services, there is no way one can know about the other beforehand.

In order to get married at the soonest, people often lie about their financial status, jobs and past life. It is better to know the truth before the wedding than to get married and suffer.

You play the detective

Stalk a bit; stalking a person online in order to know whether he/she is perfect for you is fine. Check if the person has a Facebook profile. The pictures of the person will be able to give you a picture of the person’s lifestyle. Also check if you have any mutual friends listed with this person; these mutual friends might be able to give all the information you need on your future life partner.

Apart from Facebook, Orkut, Twitter and other social networking sites, you can also Google the person’s name and check the results for the types of sites they visit and the kind of comments they have posted to know more about them.

You can also create a fake profile in any of the social media sites that the person logs into frequently and send a friend request and then try to get a little flirty with him or her to see how he/she reacts. This might be able to tell you a lot about the character of the person.

Especially in arranged marriages, if you are unable to get a good background check done, it may lead to very disappointing results.

How do you plan to do a background check? Share with us. 

How Arranged Marriages May Actually Benefit You

Do you want to get married and have not found your perfect match? Opt for arranged marriage; come on, it’s not a bad way to get married and contrary to what many people might think, an arranged marriage can be a mature decision to make.

The western world is not familiar to the concept of Indian arranged marriages. However, in India the situation is different; here, the parents can look for a suitable match for their sons and daughters, and it is not considered abnormal. Parents can look for suitable matches through classifieds in newspapers, or through online matrimony sites, or just through acquaintances. An eligible girl or boy who is interested in getting married has to meet a proposed match (one who his/her parents thought was a good match) and then express his/her like or dislike. The decisions are very practical and business like, and at the initial meeting there are hardly any emotions involved. This strategy is perfect for the 21st century business model.

You must first ask yourself if you have any problem in allowing your parents to help you find a perfect match. Our parents might do better than us in finding a perfect match; after all, their experiences in life cannot be ignored. Young people might get easily carried away by good looks and physical attraction, which may result in shallow love and lust and the relationship might be short-lived, while elders can look beyond the physical beauty.

Arranged marriages are not as simple as they appear. Two families get involved in it. Several important aspects are taken into consideration such as religion, caste, social stature, economic conditions, property and education. Any issue pertaining to the marriage is handled by both the families, so the boy and girl gets a great level of support from their respective parents.

Do you want to go for an arranged marriage? If yes, let us know why. 

What to talk about when you meet your prospective partner outside for the first time

Have you met a girl or guy online whom you are interested in and want to marry? Was it an online matrimony site where you met or was it some social networking site? Well, if you are meeting him/her for the first time outside (which can be called your first date with that person), make sure you are calm and confident and do not ask any embarrassing or awkward questions.

Be natural. Let the words flow

It is highly important to be yourself and not act artificial. Do not mug up a script for making a conversation with the man/woman; rather, let it be natural and allow the words to flow and the conversation take its own course.

Tips for women

Keep an eye on him and find out how he treats you; whether he pulls the chair for you in case you went out to have lunch or dinner together, or whether he holds open the door of some restaurant or the door of his car for you.

Talk to him and try to understand his views on women’s freedom. Ask if he is open to the idea of you working or even not working. This will help you know whether this man is suitable to be your life partner.

It is also important to check if your interests match. It is not mandatory that all your interests will be matching; he may like action movies, you may like romantic movies, but ensure that there are certain common interests that you share.

Tips for men

Ask if the girl is being pressurized into marriage by her parents or she’s doing it of her own free will. It is important for you to know this. You will definitely not want to marry a girl who is being forcibly married off.

Men are easily carried away by good looking women. Do not let that happen, as marriage is for life. Even if the woman sitting before you might be very pretty, talk to her and try to look beyond the beauty that is skin deep. Try to know what kind of a person she is, whether she is jovial, has a good sense of humor, or whether she’s down to earth or artificial in her manners.

Try not to ask any personal questions; this goes for both men and women. A person’s past relationships are not something to talk about on your first date.

It is equally important for the men to know if they share any common interests with the women. For instance, if you both like traveling, then that can be called a 'plus' in the relationship, as you already have the same views on it.

Do you have some more tips to share? Feel free to share your views here

Tips for men to steal the show on their marriage day

Hey all you men nearing your wedding day, it’s time you do something to make people say on your wedding day, Gosh! The bride’s so lucky. It’s good if you are getting a pretty bride and taking pride in it, but wouldn’t it be great if you could make yourself look equally good beside her?

There are ways to achieve the look you want on your D-day. You just have to show some dedication on your part, that’s it.

Start with a clear complexion

Use a good face scrub and get rid of the blackheads, dead skin cells and blocked pores. You must also start to clean your face with a good face wash religiously, so that by the time your wedding day arrives, you have a fresh glow to your face. If you have an oily skin it’s all the more important to clean the face with some cleanser for oily skin 2-3 times a day.

Be essentially careful with the shaving

If you are not too careful when shaving, you may get cuts and might end up carrying those scars on a clean shaven face to the mandap on the wedding day. Also use a gentle after-shave balm to soothe your face each time you get a shave in the couple of months before the wedding day.

Visit the parlor

You may visit a parlor/spa at least thrice in the last two months before the wedding. This will help you attain a striking glow and you yourself can note the difference these sessions make to your face.

Do not neglect your hair

Even if grooms take care of their face, they often tend to ignore their hair. If you do not have naturally beautiful hair that you can run your fingers through, remember that your wife will also not be able to run her fingers through your hair. So, try to do something for that dry hair or oily hair problem. Use the right shampoo and conditioners for your hair type. A beauty care professional could help you in knowing your hair type and suggesting the right hair products for you.

Take care of your hands too

Give your bride something good to hold on the wedding day. If you have very rough hands, she might not feel like holding them. Before the wedding day arrives, keep using a nice hand cream generously to make the smooth and supple. Your hands need to look good when the cameraman focuses on the ring on your finger.

With all the beauty treatments, you should be looking awesome on your wedding day. A wedding is a once in a lifetime moment, so why not give your bride the best of you?

So what say, would-be grooms, would you like to look great on your wedding? Share with us your plans to get a makeover. 

Keys to Make Arranged Marriages a Success

Arranged marriages are not that simple, as in these situations majority of the people do not know their would-be partner too well. However, there are certain factors that should be taken care of before you proceed toward marrying a person, even if he/she has been chosen by your parents/relatives.

Age

When selecting a bride/groom through an online matrimony site, or newspaper classifieds, it is important to keep the age factor in mind. The age gap between the bride and the groom should not be too wide. Ideally, it is best that the bride is about 23-27 years of age and the groom is within 30 years.

Qualities

Keep a list of the qualities you expect your future husband/wife to have and share the list with the individual chosen to be your life partner. The individual should know your expectations before marriage and should proceed only if both of your wavelengths match.

Expectations

Keep a check on your expectations. While it is necessary to let your partner know what qualities you need in him/her, it is also better not to expect that all those requirements will be fulfilled. It is very unlikely that a single person will have all the virtues you ask for.

Financial security and looks

Though the economic stature of the family you are getting married in counts a lot for arranged marriages, it will be better not to look upon it as the most important thing. The looks of the individual you are getting married to should also be a secondary factor. Do not give it a lot of attention.

Background research

It is vital to do a thorough background research on the person you are going to marry, before saying a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the marriage proposal.

Work your brain

No matter how much your parents/relatives praise a match, always rely on your own instincts. Observe the person chosen for you closely and if you feel confused regarding any behavior, talk to your friends and siblings for helping you out. Let your decision be the final one.

Note that marriage is for life. Just because your parents say a guy/girl is the best match for you, do not go ahead blindly. Study the person as much as possible and only then give your consent. After all, it is your life.

Don’t Use Facebook to the Extent of Ruining Your Marriage

Today, a major chunk of the urban young population use Facebook and other social media sites and a large portion of them are addicted. It is important for married couples to indulge in healthy social networking and not let it be the reason for a divorce.

Recently, a woman in West Bengal was on the verge of a divorce owing to spending a lot of time on Facebook. She had no job and spent the whole day on the social networking site and kept stalking her friends; everything used to bother her and she used to compare her lifestyle with her friends’ lifestyles. What someone cooked, which new dress a girl bought, where a friend went for vacation, how happy her friends are; she followed everything closely and got frustrated with her life which was not so happening.

She started venting her frustrations on her husband to the amount of abusing him verbally as well as physically. Her husband got tired of it all and filed for a divorce.

You see, what happens when you let the virtual world gain control over your life.

Follow certain golden rules

• It is important to set your priorities right. You must remember that your husband/wife is your first priority and the amount of time you spend on Facebook should not come between you and your life partner.
• Often spouses check each other’s profiles to find out the comments made by their partners on people of the opposite sex’s photos and what comments friends of the opposite sex have made on their partner’s status and photos. This often leads to suspicion, jealousy and misunderstandings among couples. 
• If you have your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend on your friend list and your spouse knows about that, it may lead to unnecessary tensions and problems that might result in breaking your bonding with each other. 
• Do not say or do anything on Facebook that you wouldn't want your life partner to know about. 

Ensure that you are spending quality time with your spouse and not being busy on Facebook when your spouse is trying to talk with you. You must make your spouse believe that he/she is most important to you through your actions.

Mangalsutra and Hindu Marriages

Among Hindus, mangalsutra is more than just an ornament. It is the object that stays with the wife since the day she gets married and a woman only ceases to wear it when her husband is no more. For several Hindu communities, a marriage is not complete until the husband ties the mangalsutra around the bride’s neck.

The pendant and the black beads

Just as a necklace with a pendant, the mangalsutra (mangal meaning auspicious and sutra meaning thread) may also come with a pendant. Differing from an ordinary pendant, the mangalsutra’s pendant has certain significance. The pendant might be a peacock design or any other design and is an important component of the mangalsutra. The peacock pendant especially symbolizes the love a wife has for her husband.

The string of black beads is considered to keep away evil from the lives of the wedded couple. The main belief is that when a mangalsutra is worn by the bride, the husband is protected from dangers and mishaps.

Types

Gold pendant mangalsutras are considered to be superior than others owing to the fact that gold as a metal symbolizes prosperity and is believed to increase energy levels in the body. People who cannot afford gold, may have mangalsutras having silver pendants.

Several South Indians will also wear mangalsutras that are usually yellow cotton threads with gold pendant(s). Several North Indians also wear mangalsutras made of plastic thread. The mangalsutra’s type and form differs according to different regions, caste subdivisions and also depends on the amount a couple/the family can afford to spend for the mangalsutra.

Apart from the black bead mangalsutra and the yellow thread one, there is also the full gold mangalsutra.

No matter what the type, the importance of the mangalsutra is same for all married women who wear it. The mangalsutra is the equivalent of the wedding ring in the western world. Some women do not open it even for a second, while there are others who may open it while sleeping at night. All married women wearing the mangalsutra revere it as a holy object that wards off all evils from her married life.

Do you women think that the mangalsutra should be made compulsory for married women? Tell us what you feel.

Say NO to Dowry Demands

All the young girls out there, if your marriage is near, keep your eyes and ears open for any talks/demands of dowry from your would-be in-laws. Remember that expensive gifts like cars, refrigerators, furniture, etc. given by your parents to your in-laws may be seen as dowry, regardless of the fact that your in-laws demanded it or not.

Be strong enough to stop your parents from offering any expensive gift, an apartment/house, property, gold, etc. to your in-laws. If there is any demand for dowry from your in-laws, raise a voice against it. Also report to the police; these people need to be taught a lesson. You definitely do not want to move into a family of rich beggars who see your family as a source of income.

Parents having daughters often think that giving dowry will ensure the well-being of their daughters, but that is a myth. This way the parents only end up making their daughters’ lives miserable, as the in-laws see their daughter’s family as a means of income and keep demanding gift items, gold and money at regular intervals. A time comes when the girl’s family is no longer able to pay for the gifts, and then starts the physical assault of the daughter-in-law. According to a Hindustan Times report, 8391 deaths for dowry were reported all over India in 2010.

Young women of India should understand that giving dowry cannot stop crimes from happening; on the contrary, it will give rise to a plethora of social evils, like female foeticide, denial of education for the girl child, dowry deaths, and many other wrongs towards women. Women should have the courage to take a stand against the dowry system. Once the giving ends, the taking will also have to end. Marry a man who does not depend on his wife’s riches for living; marry the one who is interested in you and not on your family’s wealth.


Did you or your family face a dowry demand? How did you cope with it? Share with us.

‘Money Talk’ is Important Before Marriage

Most couples do not wish to talk about money matters before tying the knot; they do not see the importance of this dreaded talk. Research shows that money is the primary reason for broken marriages and also one of the most important reasons for quarrels between couples.

It is important to be clear on monetary issues before marriage, so that fights later on can be avoided. To start off, the couple should know about each other’s exact assets and debts before marriage. It is also important to know the income of each other (before and after tax deduction); both partners must know how much money is going to come in the household after marriage. Though it may seem difficult, it is important to talk on these lines. If the debts of your future partner are far more than what you can handle, you can gauge where this relationship will lead you, and can prepare for it or back out from the relationship.

In case one of the partners is a spendthrift while the other is a miserly saver, there might be issues in the marriage later on, if there are no open talks and discussions between the couple. It must be noted that while it is good to save, it also does not harm to indulge and spend for life’s little pleasures sometimes; this helps to keep the charm alive in a marriage.

For all money matters, like loans and investments, it is advisable to seek professional help. Both partners can visit a professional and get advice on investing and taking loans intelligently.

It is important to remember that post-marriage, there is no ‘my money and your money’, it is always ‘our money’. Even if you earn more than your spouse, the money that comes into the family every month should be distributed equally for payment of bills and other purposes.

Couples can come up with plans on how to manage money for the different expenditures in the house. They can demarcate a budget at the beginning of every month and try to stick to that.

Remember, managing money and expenses is a joint venture and couples should be able to talk on this without hesitation. The more the transparency, the better the relationship will be.


Do you discuss money often with your partner? Let us know your experience of the dreaded 'money talk'.

Make Your First Wedding Night Memorable

When the wedding date is fixed, brides and grooms start having a ticklish feeling about the wedding night. Several individuals have several whims and fancies, and everyone hopes to make that special night, a night to remember for a lifetime.

Dress for the night

It is important to dress up in a manner so as to entice your husband/wife on that special night. It will be fun if women can get dressed in sheer satin or lacy nightwear and men can be in well fitted boxers.

Talk a lot

With the wedding party just over, and all the talking with friends and family, you both did not get much time to catch up with each other. Now is the time to talk about how the wedding and the party went, how happy you are to be married at last, and how much you love your partner. There’s a lot of time to jump into bed; it’s better to talk and set the mood, rather than just hop into bed with your partner.

Room décor

Make sure that the bedroom has a good fragrance and is decorated with flowers, or floating candles. The bed sheet and the pillows can also have some fragrance. A sweet smelling room will stimulate your memories and emotions.

Music

Music is an essential element of romanticism. Play some music, which is the favourite of both your partner and you. Romantic numbers will make the special night appear even more romantic.

Games

Many couples will find it interesting to play some romantic games. Individuals can ask their partners to pick from chits, in which they have to sing for their partner, dance or say a poem for their partner. Many couples can also give each other a shoulder rub, foot massage, or a sensual full body massage. Work your brain and think about many other sensual games that will make the night memorable.

Gift

Give something romantic to your sweetheart. A love letter accompanied with the gift will be all the more better.

Celebrate love

There may be several pressures for the virgin who may be full of questions and doubts. There might also be stress on individuals who are not virgins to make the wedding night be of heightened experience. Do not think much and get rid of the stress. On your wedding night, just concentrate on your partner and celebrate love.

What is your idea of a perfect wedding night? Share your views with us

Mistakes That Newly Weds Must Avoid

Well, your wedding day is now over, and the party was so much fun and went just as you had planned. What now? Newlyweds now have a big path to travel ahead together.

Handy tips to go right all the way

• It is best to accept your life partner as he/she is. If you have not liked a trait or manner of your partner before marriage, do not expect he/she to change after marriage; learn to live with it. We all have our imperfections. Trying to change your partner forcibly will result in damaging your marriage or you will end up distancing yourself from your partner.
• The first fight often follows soon after the wedding. Try to remain as logical and calm as you can in a heated argument. Shouting and yelling never helps. If you feel the urge to be violent very strongly, consult a therapist.

• It is your responsibility to start off on the right foot with your in laws. Make the extra effort, even if the in-laws are not very friendly people. Remember when you are into a hostile relationship with your in-laws, it is your partner who is caught up in the middle and suffers the most. You definitely do not want the person you love to be hurt.
• Never be jealous on your partner’s friends from the opposite sex. Remember your partner has chosen you above all of them, so if you are not trusting him/her, you are ruining your relationship. Never compare your partner with any friend of yours who belongs to the same sex as that of your partner.
• Spend more time with your life partner. Friends are important, but you have to realize that late night parties and hanging out with friends at clubs till late hours is not the right thing to do for married people. You have someone waiting and worrying for you at home, so act mature. Care for your partner’s feelings.
• Do not rush into having a child. There has to be a proper planning before you make any such important decision.

Do you have some other tips to share from your experience? Share them here.

The 7 Vows of Indian Marriage – Their Significance

In Indian Hindu marriages, the groom and the bride has to take seven pledges in a ritual popularly known as ‘phera’. Each phera has certain significance; in fact, the pheras are lessons for the husband and wife to live in harmony as a couple through thick and thin for the days to come.

The first vow

The groom pledges to make his wife and children happy in all possible ways, and the bride pledges to shoulder all responsibilities for the good of her husband and his family.

The second vow

Here, the groom requests the bride to be his strength in providing security and protection to the family successfully. The bride agrees to this request on the condition that she is provided undivided attention, faithfulness and true love in return.

The third vow

The bride and the groom pledge to remain spiritually committed to each other. The bride also promises that she will remain chaste all her life.

 The fourth vow

The bride and the groom pledges to respect and care for the elders in the family. The bride promises to serve as well as please her husband in all manners possible. The groom on the other hand, thanks his wife for bring happiness and blessedness in his life.

The fifth vow

Here the couple does not take a vow but they pray to God for the good of all living beings in the world. They also pray for each other’s family’s welfare.

The sixth vow

At this stage, God is invoked to bless the bride and the groom for a long and happy life together. The groom expresses a wish that his wife will fill his life with joy and peace, and the bride assures him that she will do so.

The seventh vow

On the last vow, the couple prays for a lifelong relationship with understanding and loyalty.

In different religions and cultures, the vows may be different, but the essence of the vows remains commitment and true love for each other.

Now that you know what the vows mean, marriage will be more meaningful to you. If you understand what you are promising, marriage will be a very serious affair for you.

Do you believe in customizing wedding vows? Share your views. 

A festive Offer to Let You find a Partner For Your Heart Faster

VivahaBandhan, India’s favourite matrimonial service provider has once again brought for you an offer that is simply irresistible. For the ones who are looking for a life partner, the festive season may make you long for a soul mate to share your happiness with, so here’s VivahaBandhan.com with its OFFER.

The paid membership/subscription rates have been slashed down only for you. 

-  Pay Rs. 1700 and get upgraded to the Gold Plus membership plan for FREE

- Pay Rs. 2500 and get upgraded to the Diamond Plus membership plan for FREE

-  Pay Rs. 4500 and get upgraded to the Platinum Plus membership plan for FREE

Note that originally the rate for Gold Plus membership was Rs. 2490 for a period of 3 months; the rate for Diamond Plus membership was Rs. 3490 for a period of 6 months; and the rate for Platinum Plus membership was Rs. 5490 for a period of 12 months. This means that you are getting a Gold Plus membership, Diamond Plus membership, or a Platinum Plus membership and all of the added features at the lowest possible prices.

This is your best bet at getting the maximum responses from suitable matches, and personally contacting the best matches without having to wait. You can get so many added benefits like initiating chat with matches, sending them personalized messages, knowing them better by calling them, etc. If you are becoming a paid member with VivahaBandhan now by availing this offer, you can find your match much sooner than you expect. In all probability, you might have your life partner by your side the next festive season.

VivahaBandhan – India’s Leading & Favourite Matrimonial Service Provider

VivahaBandhan understands the needs of today’s couples from one another and is feature-rich to make the search for a life partner easy and fast.                         

Rated as one of the most popular matrimonial service providers, VivahaBandhan.com is a platform where individuals can find life partners belonging from the same community. There are several profiles from each community for every member to choose their ideal soul mate. The Indian matrimonial website comes up with suitable matches for members to help them select their life partners.

VivahaBandhan brings for individuals seriously wanting to get married the most amazing new premium packages with the latest exclusive features available online. The packages are not a burden on individuals’ pockets, but they surely make the search advanced and easy. The 3 jumbo packages are Gold Plus, Platinum Plus and Diamond Plus. The benefits of using these packages include:

•Privileges of the standard packages in match search.

•Viewing ‘extra contact details’ for speeding up matrimony process.

•‘Star Profile’ designation for being featured prominently in search results.

•Displaying longer video profiles.

•Specially designed email with profile details is distributed to unlimited profiles match one’s preference at one go.

VivahaBandhan has also come up with a foolproof plan to make security even tighter for women profiles. Only women members of the matrimonial site are allowed to block their contact details now and unblock them for certain profiles only.

With the marriage season on, your marriage can also be happening soon; maybe your life partner is just a click away. VivahaBandhan promises that members will get their preferred match soon after they register for free. Paid members of the matrimonial site are at a greater advantage with several privileges, and they find their matches sooner. The fees for paid membership are very reasonable and members are provided several options to choose from while upgrading to paid membership as per their convenience.

Hunt is on for the Perfect Match Through Matrimonial Sites

The hype around matrimonial service providers in India keeps increasing everyday; thanks to the demands of the marriage market in the country. Previously the notion among the masses was that matrimonial sites exist only for the ones who cannot get a bride, groom to marry, but the truth is different. People register with the online matrimony websites in India only to get a partner who best matches their preferences.

When you register with an online matrimony service, the platform gives you the opportunity to choose from a plethora of options and make the right selection. The range of options is limited when you start searching for a life partner through relatives and acquaintances. Besides, when you are searching for your partner online, you do not require divulging all your personal details; you may search actively without disclosing your real name, phone number and contact details. Therefore, your friends and relatives cannot find out that you are seeking a partner, if you prefer things to be that way.

Online matrimonial service providers make you fill up simple forms while registering; you must cooperate at this time. The information you provide will be used later for finding you your most suitable match so that you can proceed further. So spare some time to fill up the forms even if you hate to do so; it will reap the rewards for you later. Some matrimonial websites make the process of registering smooth and easy for users, so that the process completes faster and the users can start the search for a life partner sooner. It is recommended that the users upload their photos when they register, as this increases their chances of getting more responses from other profiles. However, if you are uncomfortable with having a profile picture, you can carry on your search without it, but in that case the number of responses might not be too impressive.

So, if you want to get married, start creating profiles on matrimony websites today. Narrow your search by preferring brides/grooms from specific communities, age groups, nationalities, and other categories. You will be amazed at how fast you can reach the “one” partner you had been looking for. Good luck on that!