How to Know If He/She is Husband/Wife Material in Arranged Marriages

Have your parents and relatives helped you choose your life partner or have you taken the help of some online matrimony sites to choose a life partner? If you have found the ONE you were looking for or are still looking for him/her, it is important to find out if the person is marriage material or not. Remember that you are not looking for someone to date, but you are looking for a life partner in the form of a husband or a wife and that needs commitment for life. So, this is serious business and you should do some analysis and observations to know whether the person you have in your mind is eligible to become a good wife or husband.

What to observe?

If possible meet the person frequently and observe his/her small habits. Minute details about a person’s behavior can let out whether the individual is marriage material or not.

Find out if the person is dedicated in his/her works; if he/she is willing to do a lot to make small things work, in all probability, he/she might go to great extents to make the relationship work too.

This goes out especially to the ladies. If you find that your chosen man is forcing you to get physical when you do not want to go ahead with it before marriage, it is better to stay away from the person. Such a demanding nature will not let him understand and value your feelings later.

The woman or the man in question should be able to open up to you. If you feel that the individual is maintaining too much privacy and being too secretive about his/her life, he/she might be having skeletons in the closet. So, think twice here before proceeding. In case, he/she is opening about some dark secret from their past, remember that honesty counts. These people are least likely to cheat on you post marriage.

Know his/her views on religion. Religion is a very sensitive issue and the views must match yours. Otherwise, there will loads of conflicts in the personal life after marriage.

Make sure your would-be life partner treats his/her family well. If he/she is a family person, the individual will be great as a life partner.

Can you think of other things to observe? If yes, share with us. 
 

Background Check is Essential in Weddings

So you have chosen your soul mate after a long search at the online matrimonial sites or have found the man/woman of your dreams who was recommended to you by your relatives. Now what? You surely want to tie the knot and make the person your life partner. It will be wise not to rush into marriage, and stop to get a background check done. There must be some interval between the engagement and matrimony; you may utilize this time to find out more about your chosen partner.

Why is a background check necessary?

A background check is indeed necessary when you do not know much about the person’s past. This check is not done to demean anyone, but for the success of one’s marriage and one’s safety. You are aware that there are a lot of divorces happening, where the sexual orientation of one of the partner’s wasn’t straight and as a result the couple had to suffer post marriage ending in a divorce. Especially, in marriages where the partners contacted each other through classifieds or through matrimonial services, there is no way one can know about the other beforehand.

In order to get married at the soonest, people often lie about their financial status, jobs and past life. It is better to know the truth before the wedding than to get married and suffer.

You play the detective

Stalk a bit; stalking a person online in order to know whether he/she is perfect for you is fine. Check if the person has a Facebook profile. The pictures of the person will be able to give you a picture of the person’s lifestyle. Also check if you have any mutual friends listed with this person; these mutual friends might be able to give all the information you need on your future life partner.

Apart from Facebook, Orkut, Twitter and other social networking sites, you can also Google the person’s name and check the results for the types of sites they visit and the kind of comments they have posted to know more about them.

You can also create a fake profile in any of the social media sites that the person logs into frequently and send a friend request and then try to get a little flirty with him or her to see how he/she reacts. This might be able to tell you a lot about the character of the person.

Especially in arranged marriages, if you are unable to get a good background check done, it may lead to very disappointing results.

How do you plan to do a background check? Share with us. 

Pre-wedding Photo Sessions are in Trend

More and more Indians are now open to the idea of having a pre-wedding photo shoot done. This is viewed as one brilliant way to capture the love moments before tying the knot and uniting for life. Not only people who are having a love marriage, even people settling for an arranged marriage are hiring photographers for a pre-wedding photo session.

In the case of arranged weddings, the bride and the groom usually opt for a photo shoot after their engagement and before their wedding. Nowadays, couples are viewing the pre-wedding photography to be as important as their wedding photography.

Hiring a photographer

The major step in getting a pre-wedding photo shoot done is to hire the right photographer. Now there are many photographers that one can hire, but it is best to choose the one with whom a couple can share a good rapport and be friendly. Unlike wedding photography, pre-wedding photography will be more relaxed, more fun and there will be more freedom as far as the poses and clothes are concerned, so the photographer also should be fun to deal with.

Opt for a photographer who has years of experience and the one you can afford. Do not go for a photographer who charges too much or too less. It is better to discuss how many photographs will be taken, in which format you will be getting it, whether you want an album, etc. before the photo session is agreed upon by both parties.

Deciding the location

It is up to you for choosing a picturesque location for getting your photos taken. At times couples may ask the photographer they hired for suggesting a good location that is not very crowded, is an illuminated area and an ideal choice for photography. You may choose a resort, a garden or a park, some area of historical significance, your home, or any other location.

Ideas

If you are confused and do not have any unique ideas for posing, you may count on your photographer. Photographers have a great eye for the right background, mix of colors, lighting, and other details. They can capture a couple in the best of poses; if you have no experience in posing, blindly follow what your photographer asks you to do, and the outcome will be great pictures.

Photographers can also suggest you props like masks, umbrellas, books, balloons, flowers, etc. to make your photos stand out.

If you can hire a good photographer, half the job is done. You just need to make the most of the time available and capture some great moments of togetherness before wedding. You may use these pictures for creating a customized wedding card or can also splash the photos all over the wedding hall as part of the wedding décor.

What to talk about when you meet your prospective partner outside for the first time

Have you met a girl or guy online whom you are interested in and want to marry? Was it an online matrimony site where you met or was it some social networking site? Well, if you are meeting him/her for the first time outside (which can be called your first date with that person), make sure you are calm and confident and do not ask any embarrassing or awkward questions.

Be natural. Let the words flow

It is highly important to be yourself and not act artificial. Do not mug up a script for making a conversation with the man/woman; rather, let it be natural and allow the words to flow and the conversation take its own course.

Tips for women

Keep an eye on him and find out how he treats you; whether he pulls the chair for you in case you went out to have lunch or dinner together, or whether he holds open the door of some restaurant or the door of his car for you.

Talk to him and try to understand his views on women’s freedom. Ask if he is open to the idea of you working or even not working. This will help you know whether this man is suitable to be your life partner.

It is also important to check if your interests match. It is not mandatory that all your interests will be matching; he may like action movies, you may like romantic movies, but ensure that there are certain common interests that you share.

Tips for men

Ask if the girl is being pressurized into marriage by her parents or she’s doing it of her own free will. It is important for you to know this. You will definitely not want to marry a girl who is being forcibly married off.

Men are easily carried away by good looking women. Do not let that happen, as marriage is for life. Even if the woman sitting before you might be very pretty, talk to her and try to look beyond the beauty that is skin deep. Try to know what kind of a person she is, whether she is jovial, has a good sense of humor, or whether she’s down to earth or artificial in her manners.

Try not to ask any personal questions; this goes for both men and women. A person’s past relationships are not something to talk about on your first date.

It is equally important for the men to know if they share any common interests with the women. For instance, if you both like traveling, then that can be called a 'plus' in the relationship, as you already have the same views on it.

Do you have some more tips to share? Feel free to share your views here

Maintain a Good Relationship with Your In Laws Post Marriage

Often newly-weds do not get along well with their in laws and ends up messing their relationship with their partners too. There are ways to ‘not hate’ in laws and save a marriage from entering the crisis zone. 

Know your priorities 

It is essential for both partners to realize that their spouse is their priority and even if any problems arise or conflicts happen, the parents/relatives should not be called in between. If you are involving your parents in any marital conflict, it is likely to ruin your marriage as well as ruin your spouse’s relationship with your marriage. When in a marriage, you should not even encourage any of your parents/relatives talking about your husband/wife in a demeaning manner. 

Be connected to your in laws

You must show respect to your husband/wife’s parents as you would respect your own. If you speak ill of your in laws before your husband/wife, remember it will hurt the sentiments of your spouse and will make her/him have bitter thoughts about you. Keep in mind that your in laws may not be as pleasant as you expect them to be; they may be rude and difficult to handle, but you must show them respect at all times only because they are elder to you. 

If the situation gets too difficult to cope with

If you find that in spite of all your good behavior, your in laws are behaving rudely with you, abusing you verbally or physically assaulting you (this usually happens with the wife), speak to your husband immediately. You must let him know of the situation and let him know that you have done your best to control it and can no longer control it. Talk to each other and find out how you can tackle the situation. 

Plan a trip with your in laws and parents

After your honeymoon trip is over, you may plan a second trip with both in laws. This will help the family unite and get closer to each other. Amidst all the talks, laughs and food, you all will develop a deep bond which is highly needed in a family. 

Remember you need to work around your marriage to make it successful. Your in laws are also a part of your marriage and so learn to love and respect them; this goes out for women as well as men. 

Balancing Marriage and Profession Well Can be the Key to a Happy Married Life

Post marriage, all working couples should keep in mind that you might be in a 9 to 5 job or maybe working for longer hours, but if you want to make your marriage work, you have to work toward it round the clock. Your life partner cannot be taken for granted, it is a challenge to make him/her feel special always and you have to strive toward achieving that. 

Today, several married professionals join the rat race for earning more and end up devoting a lot of time to their work. What they forget is that they have to keep the charm alive in their marriage and not let it wear out and wither away. If both of you are married and working, make sure that you are not neglecting each other. It sometimes gets difficult to manage work, household chores, children, and spend quality time with your life partner, but remember that he/she is your life partner and deserves love and attention.

Do not let monotony set in your married life. Create new common interests, cut down on watching television instead spend that time talking to your partner, send at the least one 'I love you' SMS’ to your partner when he/she is at their workplace, do not forget to kiss each other goodnight, and never hesitate from discussing work and professional issues with your spouse. You may just find a friend in your partner who can help you in resolving certain issues related to your work. 

It does not matter whether you have selected a working life partner, or have come across your working partner on some online matrimony site, or a working partner was selected for you by your parents; what matters is, you should have the determination to handle work and marriage, so that marriage does not suffer for your work. Make your spouse feel that he/she is in your mind and not forgotten. After all, family is important and it should be your first priority. Always remember, you are married to your partner and not to your job. 

Do you think you will be able to balance your work life with your married life? If yes, let us know how you plan to do it.